Sometimes, I Amaze Myself!

I Have To Pay YOU To Work Here ???

2012-02-12T11:54:00.000-08:00

     I recently have attended several interviews in the past couple weeks. Mostly sales jobs that I refuse to work but I didn't know that at the time. I sat in 3-4 "presentations" for different companies. Throughout the whole presentation I listened intently and taking mental notes.

     They were all the same. After each presentation They would interview with us individually. In each and all after-interviews they would talk with us and tell us how the company works.

     The first company I interviewed with wanted me to pay $500.00 for kitchen utensils so I could then turn around and sell them to other people and actually try to make a profit. I should not have to pay money to start working for a company.

     The second company I interviewed with wanted me to pay them $499.00 for diet pills. And then this man had the nerve to tell me to start with my family and friends for profit. Like I'm going to walk up to my friends or family and tell them "Hey, I got some diet pills here, why don't you go ahead and buy some from me?" I don't think so. This man also told me that I would get my money back within the first week if I did well. I asked him if he would supply the money I did not receive back to me. He said "No, it doesn't work that way." So I had to part ways.

     The third company I interviewed with was an insurance company. I didn't quite make it through this interview because this company wanted $700.00 for schooling, $700.00 for licensing, and another $700.00 for training. They wanted $2100.00 dollars from me... Are you effing kidding me??? Seriously??? Wow. I can't believe this crap. I immediately stood up and said I'm not interested in this position and parted ways.

     Since I refuse to pay a company so I can start a job with them I walked out of all of these interviews saying "No thanks.". Ugh.

Did I Get It Or Not ??

2012-02-02T14:37:00.000-08:00

     Sitting at home has gotten on my last nerve. I can't stand just sitting here doing nothing. For the past month I have been applying for jobs... everywhere. I must have applied to over 100 places so far.

     I spend my whole day looking at ads, searching the Internet or wasting gas that I don't have money for looking for a job. It's exhausting.

     You would think that when a company says "we will contact you shortly about your application." that they mean the WILL contact you. It's a lie. Not a little white lie either. This is a in your face, not subtle about it at all lie.

     With applying to over 100 places in the past month I have had 2 responses. TWO. They were both "We regret to inform you" letters but at least they notified me. This I respect.

     I have applied to all these places and somehow still don't have a job. This is unbelievable. the economy is not that bad to the point where I HAVE to be unemployed.

     Maybe you think this is my fault, maybe there is something wrong with me. I want you to know I have applied on line, submitted resumes, made phone calls, applied in person to places. I have even called places back that I applied at just to see if they have even looked at my apps. Most of them haven't.

     I have sent my resume to others to critique and change. I have edited my resume about 6 times now and still nothing. I am 23 years old. I have 7 years almost 8 years experience in the working environment.

     I have done serving, office work and retail. I have experience everywhere and apparently that's not good enough.

    Seriously though, I just want to know if I was accepted or rejected. An effing email is not hard to send out. I do it everyday all the time. Mostly to people like you... looking for a job. I email my resume to all these people and they can't take 2 minutes out of their day to let me know if they like me or not.

     Common decency people. Get some.

Update : Bucket List

2012-01-27T13:47:00.000-08:00

Here is the start and I'm always adding more:

[ ] 1. Sky Dive!
[ ] 2. Visit all 50 States
[ ] 3. Get a tattoo
[x] 4. Para sail
[ ] 5. Change someones life
[ ] 6. Visit all desired places (see list)
[ ] 7. Visit a real beach
[ ] 8. Invent something
[ ] 9. Graduate College
[ ] 10. Make a name for myself
[ ] 11. Visit Oregon State university Campus
[ ] 12. Become fluent in another language
[ ] 13. Streak
[ ] 14. Skinny Dip
[x] 15. Send a message in a bottle
[x] 16. Fall seriously madly deeply in LOVE
[ ] 17. Write a novel
[ ] 18. Shower in a waterfall
[ ] 19. Teach an illiterate to read
[ ] 20. Sleep under the stars
[ ] 21. Learn to juggle
[ ] 22. Drive the autobahn
[ ] 23. Overcome biggest fears
[ ] 24. Donate money for something (and display my name)
[ ] 25. Scuba Dive and Snorkel
[x] 26. Kiss a stranger
[ ] 27. Ride in a hot air balloon
[ ] 28. Deep sea fish
[ ] 29. Swim with Dolphins
[ ] 30. Swim with Sharks
[x] 31. Write a play
[x] 32. Sing in front of a crowd
[ ] 33. Witness Serengeti Migration
[ ] 34. Watch the sunrise/sunset with someone special in an exotic place
[ ] 35. learn to surf
[ ] 36. Set foot on all 7 continents
[x] 37. Learn to cook
[x] 38. Pull an all nighter
[ ] 39. Go whale watching
[ ] 40. Write my biography
[ ] 41. Run with the bulls
[ ] 42. Bungee Jump
[x] 43. Bury a time capsule
[ ] 44. Learn to play the guitar
[ ] 45. Receive my ultimate dream proposal
[ ] 46. Meet my favorite 3 people
[ ] 47. Learn to break dance
[ ] 48. Learn to wind surf
[ ] 49. Name or Own my own star
[ ] 50. Build a GIANT sand castle
[ ] 51. Complete all fantasies
[ ] 52. Ride a bull ( real or mechanical)
[ ] 53. Grow a six pack and be sexy
[ ] 54. Climb a mountain
[ ] 55. Go through a toll booth and pay for me and the person behind me
[ ] 56. Witness a Tornado
[ ] 57. Travel each route I have mapped out
[ ] 58. Attend an MLB World Series game
[ ] 59. Learn sign language
[ ] 60. See the Northern Lights
[ ] 61. Keep a diary of every day for 1 year
[ ] 62. Apply for a passport just to have one
[ ] 63. Release a Khom Fai
[ ] 64. See the Great Barrier Reef
[ ] 65. Visit the Amazon
[ ] 66. Participate in Mardi Gras
[ ] 67. New Years Eve at Time Square
[ ] 68. Put together a model car
[ ] 69. Learn to Salsa or Tango
[x] 70. Try eating Sushi (Ew!)
[ ] 71. Take up photography and be decent at it
[ ] 72. Collect seashells along the beach
[ ] 73. Sex on a water bed
[ ] 74. Go Spelunking
[ ] 75. Have sex on the beach while having a sex on the beach
[ ] 76. Drive a Monster Truck
[ ] 77. See the place where the water runs opposite
[x] 78. Sex under the stars
[ ] 79. Bowl over 200
[ ] 80. Take singing lessons and learn to sing better
[ ] 81. Learn to do a back flip
[ ] 82. participate in a parade
[ ] 83. Visit a Volcano
[ ] 84. Get Married (only once!!!)
[ ] 85. Make a lei necklace :)
[ ] 86. Learn to throw a boomerang
[x] 87. Witness a Meteor Shower
[ ] 88. Visit Easter Island
[ ] 89. Visit remaining 7 wonders of the world
[x] 90. Walk along the Oregon Trail
[ ] 91. Visit the four corners of the USA
[ ] 92. Eat at the undersea restaurant Ithaa
[ ] 93. Fall asleep in a hammock
If you are reading this and anything comes to mind, don't hesitate to let me know! :)

Dear Facebook,

2012-01-24T14:01:00.000-08:00

         It's time that I be honest. I've been having an affair. It's name is Pintrest. It's fun, exciting and doesn't judge me. It's not you, it's me. I'm just not ready to settle down with one social network. I need adventure in my life and choosing one would just restrain me. I'm sorry but you have earned second place. If this is not good enough for you then we should just part our ways now. So Sorry,
                         Love,
                       Your forever FRIEND.

Just Sayin'

2012-01-19T08:48:00.000-08:00

So this morning when boyfriend and I wake up the first thing I ask him ... if you know me, you already know this. It was for some sexy time.

He said no. Wtf? His response was "I don't have time." This was at around 8:30am ... he doesn't have to be at work until 10:30am. PLENTY of time.

So he gets out of bed and goes to take a shower leaving me with blue balls in bed.
:( So not cool.

After his shower I decided to try again. :)

He still said he didn't have time. It was now 8:50am. Wtf does a girl gotta do to get laid??? After he told me this he got dressed and went outside to smoke.

WTF?? You can't tell me you don't have time to canoodle with me and then go outside for 10 minutes and slowly kill yourself.

This is what went through my head when he did this:

Smoking should NOT be more important than having sexy time with me. I'm sexy as hell, who would reject touching this??? Hm?? Not I.

Just sayin'

20 Sensual Things To Do In The Tub

2012-01-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

Another Cosmo article that I find interesting. 20 sensual things to do in the tub... Some of these are really good ideas, some are ... not.

1. After a hellish day, add a few drops of jasmine oil to your water - it's an aroma proven to dissolve tension.

2. Sink underwater so only your face is above. According to doctors, warm water dilates the capillaries in your body, increasing the flow of oxygen to your cells and making you feel calm.

3. Suck on an ice pop. The combination of the cool fruity flavor in your mouth and the hot water lapping at your body is tres magnifique.

4. Ditch the overhead light, and burn a few scattered candles. It'll create dusk like lighting that is super flattering and makes your body look fantastic.

5. Call your guy, and put him on speaker. He may not be able to see your naked body, but he'll hear the splashes and envision it.

6. Take a bouquet of roses that are starting to droop, tear off the petals, and throw them in. The water causes them to release oils that'll make your skin smell amazing.

7. Listen to the audio version of an erotic book on your iPod. That way you can get some steamy action without worrying about wetting the pages.

8. Squeeze some body wash onto your fingers, and rub the small indented area behind your ankle. You'll hit a pressure point that is believed to release feelings of pleasure through your body.

9. The kiddie brand of bubble bath, Mr. Bubble, is one of the foamiest. Strategically place some suds, and snap a bird's-eye-view pic to send your guy.

10. Drench a washcloth in the water, then lay it over your face for a few minutes - it can help unclog your pores and make your skin smooth.

11. Pick up a bottle of sparkling rose wine for your next bath. It's just sooo decadent to sip pink bubbly as you soak.

12. Does your tub have jets? Point them at your lower back - it's where women tend to hold most of their stress.

13. Put on some classical music. A study found these kinds of tunes can actually slow your heart rate.

14. Create a sauna in your bathroom: Before filling your tub, run just the hot water from your shower and shut the door. After about 5 minutes, the room will be filled with steam.

15. Grab a bath bomb, and add it to the agua once you're already in. The little bubbles it gives off will burst all over your body - stimulating!

16. Make the water exactly 99 degrees - you can check it with a thermometer. Doctors say that's the perfect temperature to get you totally relaxed.

17. Leave you cell in another part of the house. Having no distractions will let you fully enjoy the experience.

18. Get yourself a water-proof massager, and use it to smooth out knots in your neck.

19. Toss in half a cup of baking soda. The kitchen staple is the perfect addition to a wintertime bath because it re-hydrates skin that's dried out from cold, windy weather.

20. Spritz your man's cologne in the air before climbing in. Smelling his scent while you're wet will make you hot.

My New IPAD2

2012-01-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, my boyfriend, amazing as he is... got even more amazing. For Christmas I really wanted an IPAD2... seeing all those people in the commercials, it just wasn't fair. Some of my friends even have one but... they only have the IPAD. Not the IPAD2. :)

When my boyfriend got back from Tennessee from visiting his family he put this cute little wrapped package on my lap. It was kind of heavy but I couldn't wait. Even though I had no idea what it was I carefully ripped it open.

And.

To my surprise.

An IPAD2 box was in my lap.

I had to charge it the first day but man I had so much fun the next day!!!

I was downloading apps like a mother effer!! It is sooooooo addictive!

I have been getting so many apps lately it's crazy. Games, social things, useful and productive apps. Here's a list of my favorite apps so far:

Best Christmas present ever! I love you boyfriend. Thank you!!!!!

Just Sayin'

2012-01-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

- A good boyfriend would never let his girlfriend sleep on the couch.

Just sayin'

How not to host an interview

2012-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

So I recently applied for a management position for a well known family restaurant. I won't name any names:

But my application was accepted and they offered me a time to set up for an interview. My interview was scheduled for Monday, January 2nd at 2:00pm.

I left my house 45 minutes early to get there early. Makes sense, yes. When I arrived they sat me in a booth and told me he would be there shortly.

Little did I know how LONG I would be waiting. A half an hour passed before one of the male servers came over and offered me a drink. So now I'm sitting in the booth with a drink for even longer.

He finally showed up at 3:15pm (an hour and 15 minutes late mind you) to tell me something I already knew.

He asked if I had a "management" resume. I had to email my resume with the application I filled out online. I specifically stated I had never held the title of a manager. Never had the position.

     He told me this and said that this was a problem. That I was not qualified for this position because I did not have a management resume.

     First of all, buddy, if you had actually READ my resume it clearly stated that I had not had the title of manager.

     Second of all, if you did read my resume, why would you accept it KNOWING I had no previous manager experience.

     Third of all, you could have made a simple phone call to me explaining this so I didn't have to drive half and hour to get there, an hour and fifteen minutes to wait for you to show up and half an hour drive back home.

     He asked if I was interested in a serving position... If I was interested in a serving position I would not have applied for the management position. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind.

     After he felt the need to do this to me I felt like being rude back so when he was asking again (just to make sure I guess) if I was interested in a serving position I cut him off mid-sentence and said "This interview is done." I got up and left him in the booth and just walked out.

     How effing rude. This is obviously not a company you would like to work for. They are afraid to be upfront and honest, they obviously don't read resumes and if they do they are just accepting it to waste your time and irresponsible when it comes to hiring.

     I have worked 2 serving jobs previously. I know how to fill out/do paperwork. I know how to make the schedule. I know what extra sidework has to be done. Let's just say I know the drill. Plenty of experience and knowledge. You have to start somewhere and apparently a lot of experience is not good enough.

Happy New Year!!!

2011-12-31T07:39:00.000-08:00

I am so excited for the new year to roll around. Time to change some things in my life... but since I will be working with the band all day today and tonight I wanted to post this early.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM AROUND THE WORLD !!!

3...

2...

1...

Out with the old and in with the new.

Good bye 2011 Hello 2012.

Have a great night everyone. Celebrate like there's no tomorrow!!!

2011-12-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas !!!

Tis The Season

2011-12-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

For all you computer lovers out there. If you don't have a christmas tree but would like to have one, here's one that can be home made and look just awesome!

Merry Christmas !!!

Tis The Season

2011-12-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

Another tree for y'all. All you nerds out there, whether you are book worms, in grad school or just like to read, here is a tree you shall appreciate.

Merry Christmas !!!

Tis The Season

2011-12-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

Here's one for y'all if you happen to work at an auto shop, a farmer, or you just have lots of spares. :)

This took time and effort believe it or not. They even made them green ! ... Sort of. Anyway. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas !!!

You Have To See This !!!

2011-12-02T09:17:00.000-08:00

First off, I'm showing you the tree of the day. For all you gamers out there here is one that you will appreciate.

Here is something else I think all will enjoy. Found this online. Amazing! I would love to have a neighbor capable of doing this.

I know this is not a Christmas light show. Just thought people would enjoy it.

* * Tis The Season * *

2011-12-01T14:42:00.000-08:00

     No matter how you celebrate the holidays (Christmas!), I think everyone deserves to have a tree. Even if you are down on your luck or just a sarcastic being, like myself, you can make a tree out of just about anything.

     For the next 25 days I will be posting a new way to produce a tree if you can't afford a real one or even if you don't like real trees or if you are allergic, whatever the case.

     Today's pick comes from the idea for people who have kids. If you can't afford a real tree or even a fake tree, there is always a way to have a tree.

     You know your kids are creative and have a wild imagination. Have them draw one on paper and either put real decorations on it or have them draw some on. Either way, it's simple and fun and it will be priceless. :)

     It's not what the tree is made ... it's one of those things like "it's the thought that counts" or "the meaning behind it all." The time and effort are what makes the tree incredible.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Turkey Day!

2011-11-25T18:57:00.000-08:00

I have seen some really bizzare pictures of turkeys made from hand prints, cakes, cut outs, and even 3D sculptures but I think I have finally found a picture that is the icing on the cake.

I went to a Thanksgiving party yesterday and there was a sign across the back wall written in big letters H-A-P-P-Y (picture of a turkey) T-H-A-N-K-S-G-I-V-I-N-G. It was a cute picture and unknowingly produced a new definition of "turkey breasts" :

H A P P Y T H A N K S G I V I N G !!!

Party Pack!

2011-11-25T08:35:00.000-08:00

     The other day boyfriend and I went to Taco Bell to pick up some food for lunch. We wanted 10 hard shell tacos and they offered us a "Party Pack" which is 12 tacos for $10. We thought okay and said "sure."

     So we roll through the drive-thru and pick up our food. We get back to my moms house and open up our glorious buffet and find that apparently working at Taco Bell impairs your brain. We got 10 tacos. Not 12 that we paid for. Just 10. Ugh!

     This is the picture of the box the tacos came in.

This is the way I see it...

Now what could possibly be in this box to make it look so fun? Here are a few ideas I had in mind when I saw it... :)

But instead we just got 10 tacos. No party, no dancing, and no fun stuff. Just a miscounted number of tacos. :(

Good Will Comes Cheap

2011-11-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

Literally. I have been shown the light. I have recently left my job so I now have no income and currently looking for something new. Stepping out of the food business area.

One of the girls I work with, Sam, introduced me to shopping at Good Will. I was reluctant to go the first time. I was one of those people who think "Psh it's a donation store, what good can you find there?" We walked in and she showed me the way she does things.

     First of all they do this thing where they make their price tags a different color and every week they pick a new color and any clothing item with that color tag is $.99. Where can you find a better deal than that???

     Second of all most of the clothes I do find that I do like are usually $.99 and some of them still have the store tags on them and marked down to $.99. I found a Gordman's dress tank top with the store tag on it for $14.99. Good Will's price tag said $3.49 but because it was the color of the week it was $.99. Awesome!!

     Third of all they have lots of decoration items. Some of these I think are over priced but sometimes you get a good deal on some items.

     I can go to Good Will and get a whole new wardrobe for 20 bucks. It's amazing! They have jean shorts, workout shorts, sweat shorts, jeans, sweat pants, business pants, tank tops, dress shirts, T-shirts, club shirts, coats, jackets, long-sleeve T-shirts, sweat shirts, and dresses. Anything you can think of because it's all donated you can find any brand name for very cheap. Love it.

     I also found 2 Aeropostle long sleeve t-shirts for 99 cents each that both still had the store tags on it. I wear them all the time.

     So, if you're on a budget, like me, try Good Will. I bet you'll find something too. But be careful... it's addictive.

How Do You Spell That?

2011-11-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

   Simple names like Shane, Michaela, Quin, Amanda, or even Zoe have become so "old school" that they have become boring. People have now decided that they need to add a little spice to their baby names.

     My parents have their own business and they personalize their items. It gets very frustrating when someone asks if we have a name and its spelled so bizarre that it doesn't look like what it sounds like. We had someone looking for a "Qwynn" the other day. We also took an order for a "Zooey" pronounced as "Zoh-E".

     Some of the names people come up with are just insane. For example someone asked for "Duce" as in Deuce. Not Duke. Deuce. Seriously??? What the ell inspired you to pick that name? Did your husband say he needed to go drop a Deuce and you decided "Hm, deuce, that sounds pretty." Hell no. That poor kid is going to get hell all his life because his name means poop in todays terms.

     We have been asked for 4 different spellings for the name Peyton, Peyten, Payton, and Payten. We had someone ask for an "Ahlivia," "Haegan," and a "Jeck". I don't know how people come up with some of these names but we have a couple theories.

     1. We believe that people put letters in 2 hats. Vowels in one and consonants in the other and people just pick from one at a time. like Qwynn, They just picked all consonants and made it work.

     2. We also believe that people take the magnetic alphabet letters and throw them onto the fridge and make a word out of the biggest cluster of letters.

     3. We believe that people also might blind fold themselves and pick random letters from the alphabet.

     4. We also believe that people take boggle dice, shake them and make a name.

     5. We think that people also take a board, a big board, put the letters all over it and then proceed to throw darts at letters to make the name.

     I'm sure this is not the case but that's just what it seems like. I'm sick of asking EVERY customer how to spell the name they ask for. Names used to be so simple and easy with ONE WAY TO SPELL IT. One way to spell Stacie or Joe or Meagan.

     Some people get mad that they can't ever seem to find there kids name on anything. Well, when your kids name is Liowerkjnsvm, you will never be able to find it anywhere and, no, you have no right to get offended when you can't find it. And your poor child will never be able to find their name anywhere and besides that no one will be able to pronounce it.

     Think twice before you name your kid something so abstract people. Ugh!

Nerd Talk

2011-11-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

From a Nerd With Love,

Awww.

My Perfect Gift

2011-11-15T15:50:00.000-08:00

     Boyfriend and I have been dating since January, so, not that long but long enough. I have thought very hard about what to get him for Christmas. Presents are going to be short and sweet this year.

             Christmas - December 25th
           Anniversary - January 8th
           valentine's - February 14th
         Birthday(his) - March 6th
        Birthday(mine) - April 26th

     Keep in mind we're not married, we don't have kids, and we rent the house we live in. So money is not the problem. It's that "He's hard to shop for" thing. What do you give a man who has everything new and awesome and if he doesn't have it, he gets it anyway??

     Well, a few things went through my head and those were money issues... my ideas started with an iPad. He doesn't have one, he's a techy and he would love it. My second idea for him was a week trip to Hawaii for the both of us.   :)   My third big idea was a new TV for the living room... it's a great TV but the other new one we got for the bedroom... way more awesome!!

Problems with my gifts:

1. Ipad - $500 :(

2. Trip to Hawaii for 2 - $2000+

3. TV - $800

I work at the bar down the street. I can't make $2000+ dollars extra before christmas. That would be great though if I could. Maybe I would have actually kept my job. Tee hee. ;)

So my final idea I got from reading Cosmo magazine. It's cheaper and can be totally fun.

Renting a hotel room for a day or two. No phones, no people, no work, and no problems. I'm thinking a king suite with a whirlpool sounds amazing. It could be like one of those romance movies people are always telling me about. Rose petals all over the bed, Lingerie, champagne and a tasteful movie.

We could soak in the whirlpool or we could lay in bed or he can read to me our novel we've been indulged in lately. We could go swim, give eachother a massage, or watch movies. We could even eat strawberries and chocolate and whipped cream.

It sounds pretty amazing to me whatever we decide to do.

Hotel room - $150 +/-

Strawberries - $3

Chocolate - $2

Whipped cream $2

Rose Petals - $5

total = about $200

This will be fantastic. I love you Honey!

Can't wait til Christmas. Hope you don't read this before then. :)

Blind

2011-11-13T17:18:00.000-08:00

New Song I found. Kinda Catchy. Love It.

Ke$ha : Blind

My Job Ate My Life

2011-11-10T11:11:00.000-08:00

     For months now, I have bent over backwards for my job. Late notices, covering shifts, and staying late or closing when needed. I soon realized that I would do anything for anyone up there but no one would do anything in return.

     If I took a shift for someone, numerous times, they would never return the favor. If I closed for someone or took over their section, they would never return the favor. My boss could tell me to do anything and with no question or arguing I did it. But I realized I was the only one who they would come to and demand shit be done.

     Lately, I have not been taking shit from anyone not even my boss. Unless everyone is treated the way I am, I don't do shit for them.

     For a while I was working 40-50 hours a week claimed as "part-time". I worked Friday and Saturday nights and then pulling doubles on Sundays. Most times I would close the night before (which is 2:00am) and then come to work for a double the next day (which would be like 10:00am-11:00pm (with no breaks mind you!!!)) I recently worked a 15 hour day from (9:00am to 12:00am) with no break. NO BREAK AT ALL. NONE. NOT EVEN ONE MINUTE. I ate once at noon and I only was able to eat half of what I ordered. I didn't get to eat after that until after I got off work ... at midnight.

     The new schedule that came out this week was late already. I was scheduled for Saturday morning during the Husker game so I made plans with my boyfriend accordingly. The next day there was no schedule on the wall at work so none of us had any idea when we worked next we just had to guess. The next day after that there appeared to be a new schedule up and shifts were changed. Imagine me being the one who got f***ed over.

     She switched me from Saturday morning (decent section) to Saturday night in the piano bar. She scheduled me back there for an event that might not even be showing.

     I asked if she could switch me back to morning and she said no. I told her that I made plans according to the original schedule and I can't just cancel them. She pretty much told me tough shit. How effing rude is this? She took me out of my section from Saturday morning and put another girl in 2 sections.

     So I have been debating on whether I should just not show up and quit or just call in that day saying "I'm not coming in because I'm not coming in." My excuse is personal and no you do not have the right to ask. They need to realize that they cannot just F*** with me and that everything will be okay. My Job is not my life. My career will be my life. This is my JOB this is your CAREER. Get over yourself.

Why I Hate My Job. Part 4

2011-11-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

     The other night I was at work the same night that everything else was going wrong. Yes, more happened. One of the last table I had were all drunk off their asses only one was sober to drive home.

     They were, at first, nice and easy to handle. Keep in mind I was running from dining to piano bar all night. As the night grew older these people just became more and more drunk and more and more annoying.

    While I was checking on my tables in dining I look to the back and see my boss pouring a beer for one of my guests. I was just over there and refilled everything they had so I went over to question. When I got over there I asked my boss who she was getting a drink for and she said one of the ladies at my table.

     I explained I was just over here and refilled everything. She said the lady was BEHIND the bar and POURING HER OWN 32.oz BEER. She was trying to steal beer. End of story.

     My boss scolded me and said that if she was caught doing it again she would charge me for an entire keg of beer. WTF right??? How is it my fault that you (my boss) did NOT schedule anyone for the piano bar that night and no one is back there watching these people.

     So then I got stuck baby-sitting these stupid drunk idiots. Neglecting my other tables in the section that I was originally scheduled in. There was a guy sitting at the next table over who had actually succeeded in getting a beer so my table thought "oh, if he can do it, we can too."

The 2 culprits who were attempting to get free beer got up and went to the bathroom so I decided it was my chance to go check on my other tables. As I was walking back there, the other two were coming back from the bathroom and walking directly in front of me. She started walking around the back of the bar giving yet another try at free beer until she looked up and saw me and was like "oh, shit." Yeah, fucker, I'm still back here baby-sitting you. Go sit the hell down.

So I went to tell my boss that she tried again. My boss was actually willing to kick her ass out this time. Because stealing beer is bad. While my boss was walking back there she noticed one of the drunk from my table back by the bathrooms. He tore the bathroom sign off the door (ripping paint and chipping wood off the door as well).

She proceeded to kick him out and go attend to the other children at the table. I cashed them out and they were forced to leave. Duh. After they left my boss had noticed that the womens restroom sign was missing too. They did get away with that one.

Strike 4.

I quit.

Why I Hate My Job. Part 3

2011-11-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

     Last night I was scheduled in dining and had to watch piano bar room to also take tables. Already frustrating. Nobody was specifically scheduled in piano room so there was about 4 or 5 of us girls taking tables in piano room. More confusing than anything. So there were a couple tables last night that didn't get service right away because it was hard for us to keep track.

     I got assigned a table that had been sitting there for a while and when I walked up to the table, the girl at the table had a scowl on her face and had an attitude with me already. Snapping every order at me, questioning me to see if I understood her, and demanding I be faster even though she could clearly see that our building was full in every section if she cared about something other than herself.

     The football game was playing over the speakers so I was having a hard time hearing and she barked her order at me and I asked to repeat it because I could hear and she said "No." Seriously??? When the food came out it was no surprise her order was wrong. She bitched at me for that and I explained that I asked her to repeat it and since she said no I did my best with what I thought I heard. So she repeated it again and I had to have them remake it.

     I brought that out and apparently it was still wrong. So I gave up after that. When I went back to the table to check up on everything she scolded me that she had been waiting 10 minutes for another drink. Her drink was still half full. I tried to explain that when the drink gets low we have to ask if they want another drink. She told me I was wrong and stupid.

     I saw that the table was done with their food so I started pre-bussing the table when she throws her plate on top of the stack that I had in my hand which was already off balance. The plate fell to the floor and broke. She stood up and yelled at me "Can you not do anything right you stupid whore?" Oh My God. Are you effing serious??? I threw the plates down on the table and said "listen, you stupid bitch, I have been putting up with your shit since I walked up to the table. I don't know why you have been treating me like shit but I don't appreciate it and I'm not putting up with it anymore."

     I went to the computer and printed their receipt and made them cash out. She said she wanted to speak to my boss, that I couldn't treat her this way and blah blah blah. She ended up staying but I told all the other servers how she treated me and no one would serve her so they ended up leaving anyway.

     Seriously thought I was going to get fired last night just for that. Stupid bitch. Oh, yeah, and they stiffed me. No tip.

Strike 3.

Why I Hate My Job. Part 2

2011-11-06T10:39:00.000-08:00

     Last night I had a lady order a long island iced tea. I had to card her of course because I don't want to lose my job or get fined or anything. Okay, she's old enough so I bring her one.

     I come back a couple minutes later and she waves her hand at me and says "Excuse me!" (Don't ever wave your hand at your server.) Anyway, I walk over there to see what's wrong and she says to me "YOU made a f***ing horrible drink." I said "Ma'am I am not a bartender I did not make your drink the bartender did." and She says in return "Well, it's f***ing terrible, it's way too strong."

     First of all, you ordered a long island. It has like 6-7 alcohols inside of it. Of course it's going to be strong you dumb ass!! What the hell did you think? That it was going to be fruity??? Oh My God. And surprise!!! They stiffed me too. No tip. Even though I took off the damn drink for her and offered her something else instead. Good God people, seriously. Wise up.

Strike 2.

Why I Hate My job. Part 1

2011-11-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

     People like this.

     I wait on a table, do the standard intro, get their order and plug it into the computer. I have to repeat the order just so there are no mess-ups. So last night I took my tables order I repeated everything from drinks to specifications of their food. When the food was brought out the father figure at the table scolded me telling me this is NOT what he ordered.

     So I try to be polite about it. When I repeated the order the guy had ordered a burger melt which comes on bread not a bun. It's a melt dude not a regular hamburger. Anyway he said that he had ordered a bacon cheese burger instead of this unknown mysterious item.

     I take it to the back and apologize to the kitchen and explain that this guy had changed his mind. They fix it in no time and I bring it back to the guy. Did he even thank me??? Of course not. I had a full section in dining and I was also taking tables in the piano bar room. Running back and forth was getting frustrating. Thank God most of my tables were being extremely patient.

     I went back to this table several times to check up on them and see if everything was still okay and if they needed anything. After this table was done eating the told me they needed their check so I retrieved it quickly. Their order came to $55.51 after I took off both items the guy had ordered just because I thought they would make me anyway. They didn't say thanks for that either. They gave me $60.00 and demanded change. This leaves $4.49 as change. Which for other people this would be my tip.

     These bastards took the dish their check came in, the check, the change and left me nothing. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

     I am not the greatest server in the world but I take good care of my tables and I know I never deserve to be stiffed. EVER.

Strike 1.

25 Kinky Things To Do With Your Undies

2011-10-17T22:14:00.000-07:00

Another article I took an interest in from Cosmo Magazine (written by: Annie Daly). Some of them are good ideas and some are just ... not. Take a look, tell me what you think...

1. Sport a little white lacy pair, and then hop in the shower with your guy. It's like a wet-tee-shirt contest... only it's down there. And there's no tee-shirt.

2. When you're at the bar, take off your thong and slip it into his hand.

3. Snap a pic of your hottest lingerie, and text it to him with the message "Can't wait to get these off tonight."

4. Run a pair under hot water, then wrap it around his shaft and squeeze. The heat helps increase his blood flow down there, making him rock-hard and explosion-ready.

5. Use your underwear as a scrunchie.

6. Do the handcuff: Use your skivvies to tie his hands behind his back (one hand goes in each hole), and then go down on him. The sex-cop thing really never gets old.

7. Leave your underwear on while he's touching you during foreplay. Friction, baby, friction.

8. Make a dirty bracelet: Grab a lacy thong, and wrap it around your wrist a few times.

9. Put a slinky thong over your fingers, gently circle them around his tip, and let him savor the silky way.

10. Keep your underwear on during sex - just push it aside. The immediacy makes it a horndog's heaven, like you simply can't wait to have him.

11. Hide a tiny thong in the pocket of his suit pants. He'll find it while he's at work (just hope it's not when he's in front of his boss) and think of you All. Day. Long.

12. Be a down-south dominatrix... with yourself. Touch your lady parts through your underwear in front of him. Guys will never pass up a good show.

13. Clean your place in your skivvies-bust out a broom, a dustpan... go huge. He'll want to sweep you straight into the sack.

14. Two words: edible underwear. It exists. Wear a pair and let him devour it.

15. Or go DIY: Make a pair with whipped cream, then let him lick it off you. For a lusty topping, eat cherries together after the act.

16. Cut a hole in them, and have sex through the opening. Peep shows = so insanely hot.

17. "Accidentally" leave a skimpy pair in his underwear drawer. The surprise will be extra sexy since it's unexpected.

18. Sit on top of him with your undies on, and slowly grind in a circular motion. Hold out for as long as possible - the anticipation will kill him - then 86 your skivvies and get it on.

19. Have him head down there and breathe on you over your undies. The warm air will feel ahhhmazing.

20. Call it the gunslinger: Slide off your underwear, twirl it around your pointer finger, and shoot it like a rubber band right at him.

21. Put your undies over his eyes, blindfold-style. Restricting his vision intensifies his other senses, so he'll be more horny (if that's even possible).

22. Have him place his ankles in the holes of your underwear, almost like you're tying his feet together. He'll feel dominated - aka massively turned on.

23. Cook him breakfast wearing only your boy shorts. Men get majorly hot when they see just a hint of your butt cheeks... and while you're holding a spatula? Yum.

24. Strut your stuff wearing nothing but your girliest lingerie and a pair of ferosh boots. The sweet-sultry combo is insanely sexy.

25. Wear neon underwear. It's just plain awesome.

Cheap Bastards

2011-10-16T21:52:00.000-07:00

     Let me start off by saying "I hate people." It's not a race thing it's not a gender thing I just hate all people. Equally.

     I work at a sports bar down the street. I love my job, what I mean is, I love serving and being social. I know this doesn't make sense with the whole "I don't like people" thing but it's true.

     First off, I make $2.90 an hour. theoretically. Second off, tips are optional not required.

     If you are in a party of 7 or more, expect delays.

     If you are high maintenance and picky as shit, expect delays.

     If our place of business is even somewhat busy, expect delays.

     When I give you a 32 oz drink, don't drink it within 30 seconds and then shake your glass at me like it's been 10 minutes since you've had something in your cup.

     The law requires that if you look under 40 years old I MUST CARD YOU. Take it as a compliment.

     If I ask you what you want, don't tell me "surprise me" and then get mad when it's something you don't want. Maybe you should have told me anyway.

     Tip at LEAST 10 percent you cheap bastards. I am never that terrible.

     If something comes out wrong, tell me, I will fix it. Promptly.

     If I make several trips to your table asking if everything is okay and you say yes, how the hell am I to know that you are unhappy and something is wrong??? Tell me.

     I am required to repeat your order, so if I say something that is not right, again, tell me.

     When I come to the table and ask if you need anything, tell me everything at once, do NOT keep me running back and forth for you every time I return to the table.

     Cash tips are more appreciated than credit or debit tips. I don't have to claim those.   :)

     When I say "I have a boyfriend." it is NOT my subtle way of saying try harder, it means "I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested."

     If I am in the middle of talking to a table don't interrupt me. Signal me, I will reach you when I'm done greeting the new table.

     Don't yell at me from across the room.

     Don't ever EVER effing sit down at a dirty table and demand me to clean it ASAP. You chose to sit at that dirty table. You can suffer until I'm ready.

     Never snap at me to do something.

     Never shake your glass at me.

     Just saying, these are some things that would help us get along a little better and would make your visit much more pleasant. This would also keep me happy and considering I handle your food ... Don't piss me off. :)

             Have a great day!!

Tis Awful But True ...

2011-10-15T20:06:00.000-07:00

     I Heard a quote the other day. I still haven't decided whether it was funny or just sad. With how sad it is, it is very true.

     "20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no "Jobs," no "Cash," and no "Hope.""

     Too soon ??

I Done Told You Bitches.

2011-10-11T17:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, our CRAPPY NEIGHBORS once again give me something else to blog about. I have previously mentioned how they park up and down the street so no one else can park by their own house, how they call the police on other neighbors and how they are rude as hell.

Well, today boyfriend and I went out to take my truck in to get new tires and a new lense for my tail light and sure enough are crappy neighbors have another one of their vehicles parked in front of our drive way. AGAIN. this time it's a red SUV, much bigger and takes up more space. Only this time it is parked up on our curb into our grass and once AGAIN they are parked too close to our driveway. Seriously, what pricks!!

     So, today, boyfriend called the county sheriff and reported the abandoned vehicle that has been in front of our driveway for four days and has not moved. They sent out a person to tag the window and mark the tires of the vehicle. They wait 24 hours and come back to check if the vehicle has moved, if it has not, they ticket them or they just might tow it. Either way, this pleases me thouroughly.

     We will do this repeatedly until the problem is solved and we don't care how many vehicles they go through. First it was a van then it was the sons truck and now its the big ass SUV, enough is enough.

     Suck it bitches.

Tis The Season!

2011-10-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

Halloween is my FAVORITE time of the year. I love the colors, love the season, love the weather and I love the holiday. Y'all know my favorite team is Oregon State so my two favorite colors together are orange and black. As you can guess I love to decorate for Halloween.

My favorite bit of decoration is my black Christmas tree with pumpkin ornaments. :) Who in the world besides me has a BLACK Christmas tree?? That is why I like it so much.

I dedicate everything I make/have/buy orange and black to Oregon State. They inspire me.

The Nerve!

2011-10-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

I have previously written a blog about our obnoxious "next door" neighbors. (They really live across the street.) Here's a picture to help imagine this.

     Now that you can see it let me explain the situation. Our crappy neighbors like to park as many of their cars on the street as possible to leave room on their 5 car empty driveway. They park across the street in front of our house which lately it has been blocking our driveway. Makes us mad. They don't really give a shit.

     Well there is a whole street in front of their house where the front door is but, no, they park in front of our house and the neighbors house. We have had this problem for a while now, it's gotten so serious that we've threatened to call the police and have them be towed if the don't move.

     They refuse to listen. But yesterday I heard through the grapevine from our nice next door neighbors that the crappy neighbors called the police and called in saying that our nice next door neighbor was parked in the middle of an intersection. The nerve of these people. Our neighborhood is very slow traffic wise so no one really worries. Our neighbor knew the cop that eventually came to the house and he told him who had reported it.

     So, these assholes who do what ever they want and don't care have the nerve to call and report someone else who has been nothing but nice. We are waiting for the next night they park in front of our drive way to either call the police and have them towed or wait and park in front of them and behind them and block them in. We have other ideas but these are legal and non-damaging.

Pumpkin Faces!

2011-09-21T17:01:00.000-07:00

     It might be a little early but I couldn't help myself. My favorite season is fall and my favorite holiday is Halloween!!!

     My favorite team is Oregon State (which their school colors are orange and black) so it's like a plus when Halloween rolls around...

     Any way my favorite part of Halloween is carving pumpkins. I love making different pictures and different faces.

     The following are some of my favs that I have found randomly surfing the interwebs. I love how people can get so detailed... and extremely creative. Enjoy:

WTF ??

2011-09-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

So, something funny for y'all. Driving down the interstate and trying to obey the speed limit. We were driving through Indiana I believe when we came across a couple of these signs. So we know it was NO accident.

This would have made it very easy to get out of a speeding ticket though. We can just say we were confused as to which sign to listen to.

There is no construction either... no obstructions to even have 2 speed limit signs... two lanes for each side of the highway/interstate. WTF ??

Pirate Festival

2011-08-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

     Yes, a pirate festival. I love pirates and I love dragons. It was not a huge production but it was located at the Bellevue Berry Farm in Bellevue, Nebraska.

     It consisted of pirate shows, sword fights, belly dancing, gypsies, jugglers, and dragon knick knacks. I have a huge facsination with dragons, I think they are incredible mythical creatures.

     We also participated in knife throwing. Boyfriend got 2 out of 5 stuck, I got none.     :( But it was fun. I think the best entertainment they had was the juggler. His stage name was Crazy Boy Coy. He was a great performer and he was hilarious.

     First he juggled 3 balls, then 4 balls, then five and even 6. He also had a stunt where he stood on a 2 ft diameter ball, squeezed his way through a tennis racket and juggled all at the same time. Juggled sticks on fire!!! It was cool. He had a great personality on stage, he was hilarious as I said before.

I got a few pictures of him, I wanted everyone to get a sneak peak of the show... Enjoy...

He is putting out his flaming baton in this picture while still wearing the tennis racket... lol. Great show!

WTF ??

2011-08-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

Recently I went to the Iowa State Fair. It is huge. They have rides, shows, entertainment, and all sorts of other stuff. They do have a lot of food. A lot of food they have available is either deep fried or it comes on a stick.

I decided to try a deep fried twinkie for the first time. It was AMAZING:

YEAH, exactly. Yum! But anyway that's not the "wtf" situation I'm talking about. I swear they will deep fry anything or put anything on a stick.

Well, something NEW they had at the fair this year was deep fried butter. Seriously, it was a stick of butter, dipped in batter, deep fried, put on a stick and served hot. Ugh! WTF?? People were eating it like it was a delicacy. I kid you not! So disgusting! I felt myself getting fatter just thinking about it. Sick.

I'm telling you, this is no joke. Ew.

Based from this website: http://archives.cnn.com/2002/US/West/09/18/offbeat.twinkie.reut/
Twinkies are 425 calories:

FACTOID

1 Twinkie = 150 calories

Batter and oil = 275 calories

Total Damage = 425 calories, about the same as a slice of apple pie a la mode

Guys Answer Your Sex Questions Part 5

2011-08-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

61. Why are threesomes so damn appealing? Four hands, two mouths: double the pleasure, double the fun.

62. Would a guy stop me if I was doing something that didn't feel good during sex? Most guys enjoy sex no matter how "bad" it is, unless you're really rough and he bruises easily.

63. Is it hot if a girl pins a guy's arms down? As long as we're letting you pin our arms down (and you're not actually stronger than we are), it's hot.

64. How can I tell if a sex move is too far out of a guy's comfort zone? Try one little thing at a time. After, ask him if he likes it, and see how he reacts.

65. Women have various types of orgasms. Do men? Yes. If we're in love the orgasm is much more intense than if it's just a random encounter.

66. Do guys prefer our place or theirs? Guys would rather be at your place. It probably smells nice. Our place smells... soviet.

67. How can you get a guy that you already had sex with to see you in another light? Hang out with him in a less intimate environment. Instead of drinks or dinner, grab coffee or catch a movie.

68. Do guys compare current sex partners with past ones? Yes, but we're not comparing your skills; we're comparing the experience. Sometimes, it's better even with a less skilled girl.

69. What is the ideal length of time sex should last? Depends on the mood. Sometimes we want a sitcom, and sometimes we want a movie. Both are great.

70. Would you ever not hook up with a girl because you weren't groomed down there? Wait, guys are supposed to groom down there?! (kidding, but no, we would never worry about that.)

71. Which sex sounds are hottest? When they are real. Men can tell when you're trying too hard, and it's a turn-off.

72. If a woman has sex with a guy early on, does he assume she is like this with every guy? He probably assumes you are. But if he likes you, he doesn't care.

73. Do guys fantasize about other women during sex? Some do. But certainly none of the men answering these questions...

74. What should we say in bed? "I need you now."

75. What should we sext you? "I need you now."

Guys Answer Your Sex Questions Part 4

2011-08-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

46. Are men intimidated if a girl brings her vibe to bed? Some are - especially younger guys. To be safe, wait until you've been sleeping together at least a couple of months.

47. Is biting ever a turn-on? If so, where and how hard. Do you mean biting of the wang? No, that's not cool. Biting on other parts is okay.

48. How does it feel to be inside a girl? Like you're sitting in a hot tub while riding a roller coaster.

49. What do we do wrong in bed that guys don't tell us? Be more assertive. It is such a turn-on when a girl tells us what she likes.

50. If I touch my guy's butt during sex, he shuts down. Why is he sensitive about it? Some guys want every inch explored. Others don't. You're with an other.

51. What does an orgasm feel like for a guy? Eating your favorite meal, getting a massage, and winning the lottery all at once. But better.

52. Which do guys like best, us on top or them? You on top, going up and down. Grinding doesn't feel that great, but we know it works for you.

53. Do men want their nipples played with? If so, how? It depends on the guy. If you want to test the waters, try mimicking the way he plays with yours.

54. Is period sex a turn-off? Everyone knows girls are hornier on their period. If she's down, we're down.

55. How important is it to make a woman climax? Very important! It's a huge confidence booster when we know we're pleasing you.

56. Are guys really into getting foreplay for their own sake? Most men enjoy foreplay, just for less time than woman do.

57. Is my O face hot? It turns us on - not because of the way you look but because we know the mission was a success.

58. How do we know if you're having sex or making love? If the guy is focusing a lot on your pleasure, it's probably more than "just" sex to him.

59. Do guys ever fake it? Some guys no doubt do it occasionally. But it almost certainly has nothing to do with you.

60. Should a girl acknowledge a queef? We only care if she calls attention to it. Ignore it, and let's finish what we started.

Guys Answer Your Sex Questions Part 3

2011-08-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

31. Do guys like when a girl changes sex positions, or would they prefer to do it? When a girl takes control in bed, it's beyond sexy.

32. Why does my boyfriend have to go fast to finish? Slow is how we "maintain." Go slow until you're done, then let him go into humpin' hamster mode - compromise!

33. Is it possible for a woman to be too wet? Well, if she floods the bedroom, it may trip us out, but generally, it's a huge ego boost.

34. Why does a girl sucking on her finger get guys so hot? Because your finger reminds us of our penis - er, we mean a much smaller version of our penis.

35. Can a guy ever have too much sex? Can the pope have too much church?

36. During oral, which is better - a consistent pace or surprising techniques? Variety is the key to life. It's also the key to good oral sex. So do a little of both.

37. How do you know if a guy is satisfied in bed? When he keeps coming back for more, he's hooked.

38. Do guys want you to look them in the eyes during oral? Little glances can be hot, but let's not have a staring contest.

39. What satisfies men most? You screaming in ecstasy.

40. Do guys like cuddling after sex? We like to cuddle when it's with someone who we actually want to wake up next to in the morning.

41. How do you keep the spark alive in an LTR? Spontaneity. Remember when you first started dating and had sex in the library(No? What?) Be naughty again.

42. If we've been going at it for a while and it's not happening for me, should a girl be honest or fake an orgasm? Neither. Just tell us how much you want us to come. We'll get the message... and then we'll gladly comply.

43. What kind of bedroom attire turns guys on the most? Whatever makes you feel sexy- because when you feel hot, it gets us hot. Just no garter belts, they're weird.

44. If sex with a new girl is bad, is that a deal breaker? Some awkwardness is no big deal, but if a trip to the ER is involved, we may move on.

45. Why do men dig a.m. sex? Morning erections are common, and it's either take a cold shower or make some love. Easy choice.

Guys Answer Your Sex Questions Part 2

2011-08-17T21:08:00.000-07:00

16. What's better- a light touch or a firm touch on your penis? Firm.

17. Does having sex on the first date make a guy think you're not girlfriend material? No.

18. What kissing technique will turn him on right away? A slow, sensual, passionate kiss. Don't stick your tongue down his throat. Make him want it.

19. Do guys actually like how a girl tastes? Not every girl tastes the same. But some do taste good, and it adds to our attraction.

20. Is it a turn-off to sleep with a virgin? No. It's pressure to show her the ropes, but most guys are happy to step up to the plate.

21. Why are guys shy about talking during sex? What some girls find hot others find disgusting, and we don't want to chance offending you and not getting laid.

22. If you loved a woman and she wanted to wait to have sex, would you? If we LOVED a girl, yes. If we just LIKED her, probably not.

23. How do I know if I'm good at sex? Men will make involuntary noises you would never expect to hear. Then they'll pass out.

24. If it's been a while since you got it on, can just seeing a woman in a tight shirt give you an erection? It could be an XXL, and if a guy's horny, he'll find something about any firl to turn him on.

25. Do you play with our breasts only because you think we like it? Oh, we're huge fans of those things! But we also hope that we're turning you on.

26. I understand men are tired postcoitus, but why can't they even talk? Everything to a man becomes much less interesting after we have sex. We cannot all be the Old Spice Guy.

27. How easy is it for guys to have casual sex with women? Pretty easy. Guys seem to take longer to develop that attachment to a woman.

28. What do guys like best during a blow job? A girl who isn't afraid to use her mouth on your balls.

29. Is having sex in positions where you're doing all the work fun or exhausting? How lazy do you think we are? We love pushing you against a wall or bending you over a desk.

30. Do guys tell their friends about their sex lives? If you're a one-nighter, yes. If you're a girlfriend... sometimes.

Guys Answer Your Sex Questions Part 1

2011-08-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

An article from Cosmo Magazine. First 15.

1. Do guys ever prefer a hand job over having sex? Yes, but only when full-on sex isn't an option, such as on an airplane or at the DMV.

2. I like it when a guy touches my clitoris during sex, but is it too much "work" for him? Any guy not taouching your clitoris is absolutely clueless. The good ones enjoy it.

3. Do men like to be spanked? The occasional playful slap is cool, but we'd rather be the spankers. A firm ass grap during sex, though? Awesome.

4. Is it intimidating when we tell you what to do in bed? NO, we like it; it's like having a GPS (G-spot positioning system). Extra points for using a fake british accent.

5. Do men get bored in LTRs? Without variety, yes. So role-play, sext, role-play (hint).

6. Do guys care about a flabby stomach or cellulite? Not so much. Don't make it a big deal, and he won't either.

7. How many times a week do men like to have sex? Live-in G/F: four or five. GF we don't live with: five or six. Sex buddy: As many times as possible.

8. Do guys like it if we sqeeze our PC muscles? Sometimes, but it's not a major factor in our enjoyment.

9. What sex tricks wow guys? Prop a mirror against the wall for a show, pin his arms down, and talk really dirty to him.

10. Are unshaven legs (or other body parts) a turn-off? Hell, yes. Shave that. It's not 1973 anymore.

11. Do guys like to have their balls played with during sex? Do chicks like compliments? Of course we do.

12. Why do guys in relationships look at porn? To feed our sexual appetite, for ideas, for masturbation.

13. What are the chances that a guy will end up falling for a sex buddy? 50/50. Sometimes the sex is so good, it takes you a while to realize that she's an awesome person too.

14. Do men like it when we touch ourselves during sex or do they feel not needed? We like it, as long as you don't push our hand away and snap 'God, let me do it!'

15. How much does breast size really matter? You can have a great pair of A's or a great pair of D's. If they look good, we're happy.

Enormous SlingShot!

2011-08-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

I was at the Iowa state fair over the past weekend and this was one of the rides they had. OMG! I wish this was me! If it wasn't $25.00 bucks a pop I would have been first in line!

Enjoy :)

This is supposed to be verticle but my computer crapped out and posted this one instead and I'm just in a lazy mood not to fix it now.

Most Annoying Song... Ever.

2011-08-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

The following video has been carefully selected so you know exactly what I am talking about. Most annoying song. Ever. Ugh!

But hilarious when you first see it. lol :)

WTF ??

2011-08-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

Went on vacation not to long ago and we stay in these little "cabin" houses. They don't maintain them very well so things are falling apart. But, no worries, if something is broken or starting to break they try to fix it.
Example A:

     We also learned that if ductape doesn't work just plain old regular masking tape will work... just a lot more of it.

     Example B:

This is how they upkeep and prevent spending money on unnecessary renovations. . . Air is not important... the week we were up there it was 98* out and humidity of 91... and yet in our cabin it felt like it was 60* and felt amazing!

Maybe we take tape for granted and don't realize just how much we need it. Multipurpose take, yeah!

Last Friday Night

2011-08-01T19:50:00.000-07:00

So ... I have this song in my head. Can't get it out. I sing it every day all day long. Every one else is extremely annoyed now. Not me, I'm lovin' it!!!

OOOOOHhhhhhh my God. addicting. If you wanna sing along... just follow the lyrics:

There's a stranger in my bed

There's a pounding in my head

glitter all over the room

pink flamingos in the pool

I smell like a minibar

DJ's passed out in the yard

barbies on the barbeque

there's a hickie or a bruise

Pictures of last night

ended up last night, I'm screwed

oh well

It's a blacked out blur

but I'm pretty sure it ruled

damn!

Last friday night

yeah we danced on table tops

and we took too many shots

think we kissed but I forgot

last friday night

yeah we maxed out credit cards

and got kicked out of the bar

so we hit the boulevard

last friday night

we went streaking in the park

skinny dipping in the dark

then had a menage a trois

last friday night

yeah I think we broke the law

always say we're gonna stop-op

whoa

this friday night

do it all again

this friday night

do it all again

tryin to connect the dots

don't know what to tell my boss

think the city towed my car

chandelier is on the floor

with my favorite party dress

warrants out for my arrest

think I need a ginger ale

that was such an epic fail

Pictures of last night

ended up last night, I'm screwed

oh well

It's a blacked out blur

but I'm pretty sure it ruled

damn!

Last friday night

yeah we danced on table tops

and we took too many shots

think we kissed but I forgot

last friday night

yeah we maxed out credit cards

and got kicked out of the bar

so we hit the boulevard

last friday night

we went streaking in the park

skinny dipping in the dark

then had a menage a trois

last friday night

yeah I think we broke the law

always say we're gonna stop-op

whoa

this friday night

do it all again

this friday night

do it all again

T.G.I.F.

Last friday night

yeah we danced on table tops

and we took too many shots

think we kissed but I forgot

last friday night

yeah we maxed out credit cards

and got kicked out of the bar

so we hit the boulevard

last friday night

we went streaking in the park

skinny dipping in the dark

then had a menage a trois

last friday night

yeah I think we broke the law

always say we're gonna stop-op

whoa

this friday night

do it all again

this friday night

do it all again

Beautiful Sunset

2011-08-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

     Our back yard is a corn field. we have a great view because it's flat and you can see quite a ways west. We have experienced some amazing sunsets recently because of all the storms and humid weather.

     A couple days ago we went for a walk but before we got outside, we looked outside and everything was like an orange-ish gold color. Really pretty. So, I got the camera out and took a few pictures and I felt the need to share them. And, here you go:

     (Please ignore the camera reflection.)

I thought these clouds looked amazing... no rain, no wind, and no storms. Just really pretty formations and colors all over the place. Beautiful.

HELP! I'M HUNGRY!!!

2011-07-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

     I went to visit my g-ma at the home the other day. She is very content in her space and loves company. This is much different than how she used to be.

     While we were there, the nurse came in and started talking to us. She said that they had to take my g-ma's phone away. Little absurd we thought... until we asked why.

     The nurse said that a couple days ago my g-ma called 911 and complained that they weren't feeding her. I laughed ... so hard. This would be somewhat okay if it were true. They feed her breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ... everyday. But g-ma's memory is so bad that as soon as she eats, she forgets instantly.

     The nurse continues to explain that the next day g-ma called 911 again, this time asking for snacks because again, they weren't feeding her. I couldn't stop laughing! I thought it was hilarious. So they took her phone. Now, this is understandable.

     When we visited today, the phone was there ... unplugged.

The Sexiest Spots to Touch Him During Sex

2011-07-24T18:13:00.000-07:00

     Cosmo's magazine has another interesting article called the sexiest spots to touch him during sex. It got me thinking.

Number 1:
     This of his shaft... like the outer curve of your breast.
     Consider how it feels when he gently caresses the sides of your boobs at the beginning of foreplay. He may not be making a beeline for the obvious pleasure gold mines that are you nipples, but you're still totally turned on, right? Same goes for a guy's shaft: touch it lightly at first, avoiding all the other hot spots of his penis, and you'll build his anticipation, making him all revved up.

     * Take his shaft between your open palms and tap it back and forth, almost like you're volleying a tennis ball. The quick movements are a fun way to wake up his nerves.
     * Teasingly lick the sides of his shaft. The sideways motion is an unexpected sensation.
     * Lie on top of your guy, place his shaft between your breasts, and move up and down so his penis glides smoothly between them. Do the man math: seeing your boobs + feeling his penis on them = what's not to love?
     * While you suck and lick the top half of him, grip his lower part firmly with one fist, and move up and down. His entire package gets stimulated at once.
     * Run a washcloth under ver warm water, then wrap it around his shaft and squeeze. The heat helps increase the blood flow, making him rock hard.
     * Squirt a drop of lube in each palm, grap his penis with one hand over the other, and twist in opposite directions, creating lots of feel-good friction.

Number 2:
     Think of his testicles... like your nipples.
     You know how your nipples get bigger and darker when you're turned on? So do guy's balls. When a woman becomes aroused, her nipples enlarge because they are engorged with blood. Likewise, when a man is excited, his scrotal sac fills with blood and becomes more sensitive.

     * As you kiss him, cradle his boys in your palm. No need to caress - your hand's warmth is enough.
     * Pull the skin away from his jewels using your thumb and forefinger, and lightly massage it. The skin is less sensitive, so it can handle a bit more pressure.
     * Rub the flat sides of your fingernails against his scrotum. They're harder, smoother, and cooler than your fingertips, so it feels different.
     * Take one testicle at a time into your mouth, and suck. It is unlike any sensation you could create using your hands and gets him even hornier.
     * When you are on top and feel like he's right on the verge of climaxing, reach behind and gently pull his balls down away from his body. Stretching them like this exposes more nerve endings, making his orgasm even more intense.

Number 3:
     Think of the base of his penis... like your pubic mound.
     When a guy takes a brake from stroking your clitoris and rubs your pubic mound - the round fleshy area just above your hot button - it's a steamy treat. Similarly, the base of a guy's penis connects his shaft to his body.

     * Form a ring with your thumb and middle finger like you're giving an okay sign, and place it around the base. Squeeze gently, then harder. This will keep the blood in his penis, so he'll feel good... and last longer.
     * Firmly holdthe bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it toward the base, then pull it back lightly. Since it's all connected, it'll shoot a tingly sensation from his base to the head and back.
     * Make the tip of your tongue into a firm point, and trail it around the base. Since you usually focus on the top three-quarters of his package, he;ll be surprised and aroused.
     * With a flat, soft tongue, lick all the way around the base of his penis three or four times, and then take your mouth away from his package. Pause, and repeat. The move will feel awesome, and the waiting will excite him more.
     * Post-O, massage the base of his penis lightly - use one fingertip, and move it in small circles. His balls and head and shaft are too sensitive to be touched right after he's climaxed, but he'll love gentle attention here.

Number 4:
     Think of the head of his penis... like your clitoris.
     Your clitoris is jam-packed with millions of nerve endings, as is the tip of his member, also known as the glans. And even though his glans can take a bit more pressure than your clitoris - the nerves are spread over a slightly larger area - it's all very sensitive.

     * You have to admit it feels extra erotic when he touches you through your panties. So share the love: Pull a silky thong over hour hand, swirl your covered-up fingers around his tip, and let him experience the joy of fabric.
     * Grip his shaft loosely with one hand, then open your mouth, hover right over his head, and breathe slowly and heavily. The sexy heat will literally warm him up and send tingles from his tip to his base.
     * Guide his penis into your mouth at an angle, so it hits the inside of your cheek. The skin is smooth and soft there, so it eels awesome against him.
     * Cover the head and upper shaft of his penis with your mouth, and suck on the tip like you're slurping a shake through a straw.
     * When you're straddling him, stop and raise your hips so only his tip is still inside you. Squeeze your vagina like you're doing a Kegel - he'll love the intense pressure.

Number 5:
     Think of his perineum... like your G-spot.
     All hail the sexy G-spot. It's the small, spongy area located about 2 inches up the front wall of your vagina that gives you one of those super-deep, way intense orgasms. A guy's perineum, the patch of skin between his anus and testicles, is a very similar producer of body-rocking inner pleasure.

     * As you're stroking his shaft with one hand, reach down and massage his perineum with the pad of your thumb - roll it from one side to the other, almost like you're giving a fingerprint.
     * Dart your tongue in and out like a snake, flicking it quicly. The fast movements will get him super hyped.
     * Use the knuckle of your pointer finger to press against it firmly as you give him oral. It's best to use this move if you're ready for him to finish, since the combo of oral and perineum contact is sure to speed things up.
     * Press your lips together like you're about to plant one on him, then place them directly over his P-spot, and suck. The suction brings more blood to the area, engorging it and making him shiver.
     * When he's in missionary and about to finish, reach down and push the spot - just like you would a button - to make his finale even more moanworthy.

WTF??

2011-07-23T16:29:00.000-07:00

When I was traveling home from Tennessee a couple weeks ago I saw this sign:

     I don't know about you but I couldn't trust a place that's so cheap. :( No Bueno. This is also false advertisement... It clearly says "Dollar Inn" and yet it's more than a dollar to stay here. It might be dirty, falling apart or ready available for thieves.

     I can imagine myself cowering in a corner with a spatula saying "This is it." If I could afford a black light I might use it to see if everything was "sanitary." ... On second thought, I might not want to know.

     I think my best chances would be sleeping on the ceiling. That way if I had an unexpected guest I could leap from the ceiling and attack them from above with the element of surprise. Hahaha!

# 15 Message in a Bottle

2011-07-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

     So, I was recently on vacation in Okoboji, Iowa and my main goal was to do # 15 on my bucket list. This would be to send a message in a bottle. The second to last day we were there I wrote a short half page note, rolled it up and twisty-tied it.

     My note read:

   Hi there,
     My name is Amanda and I made a bucket list and have been adding to it for years. # 15 on my list is to send a message in a bottle. I chose Okoboji because I have been coming up here for 23 years. I consider it my home-away-from-home now. Lately this place has changed a lot and fast. Everything is getting more expensive, it's starting to overcrowd with idiots, and everything is up for sale including the places I stay. This may be my last year up so I decided to leave on a good note. I hope I can continue to return to this beautiful place.
                      *BoJi4LifE*

This is my bottle! (Not literally) that would be evidence for littering... mine was in a diet coke bottle. :) But, YAY, I can cross this off my list now!!!

WTF ?

2011-07-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

Again, I have dedicated Wednesdays to be WTF Wednesday(s). I select a picture from my collection and I share it with you.

Traveling through Tennessee we saw a lot of things. But this caught our attention more than anything. Driving down the interstate we saw these two places RIGHT NEXT DOOR to each other. First, from afar, we saw this:

This was an anti-abortion clinic/church. Very religious group of people here who believe that abortion is never a choice. Church also tells you that you should never have pre-marital sex. Ever. Mostly because it is a "sin" but also because it can be cause of an unwanted pregnancy. See how these two relate?

Anyway, as we get closer, we see this building right next door to it.

Seeing these two next to each other was quite funny. They portray this huge white cross where everyone can see it and then this building (out of spite I think) goes up.

We are not sure which building was built first but definitely think one was built right after the other for comedy reasons.

WTF?

Common Decency ?

2011-07-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

     I recently applied for a job, nothing big, but it was just for money needs. I was called about 2 days later from someone presenting me with a chance for an interview. I joyfully accepted. (I thought it would have taken longer for them to get back to me.) So the day came and I went in for a sit-down.

     She asked me questions, I answered respectively. The interview went very well she said. Yay! Me! As we were wrapping it up she told me she would call me in a few days so I could come in for my 2nd interview ? okay, I thought.

     A couple hours later I receive the phone call so we set the date. This time I had to meet with a different lady. So I went in and sat down with her. She said this interview went great and she would call me in the next couple days to schedule orientation for me. Sweet! Job is mine!

     I spoke to soon. 1 day went by, nocall. 2 days go by, nocall, 3 days, 4 days. On the forth day, I call. Apparently she wasn't there. Day 5, no call, day 6, no call, finally on day 7 I was surfing the interwebs and decided to check my email, lone behold ... I have an email, NOT from her, from the business. Telling me I am over-qualified and their accepting other people with more experience. HOW THE FUCK that makes sense ??? I'll never know.

     It was a no reply email address, so I replied. :)

[[  To whoever reads this.

     Thank you so much for not calling me like you said you were going to. You lied.

     Thank you so much for feeding me false hope that I got the job when in fact I didn't. You lied.

     Thank you so much for telling me I'm "over-qualified" but yet seeking others with more experience at this time. You lied.

     I took 3 hours out of my time to drive to your business and talk to you and you send me an email. You didn't even have the decency to call me and tell me that I didn't get the job. It would've taken 30 seconds fo your "paid" time to tell me this. But no, you found a lazy way out and sent an email. (Even though you told me to wait for a phone call. <- this is rude.) I waited a week for a non-existing phone call that you told me specifically to wait for.

     If you emailed me because you couldn't deal with me getting rejected and didn't want to hear me complain, you were terribly mistaken.

                    Sincerely,
                      Your "over-qualified"
                      yet unexperienced should
                      have been employee. ]]]

      Is it that hard to pick up a phone and dial 7 numbers? That email I received felt like a text message. it felt like I was getting gossip over my phone. Are people that fucking lazy that they can't talk to people anymore? "To avoid verbal conflict I'll just email (text) them. At a non-reply email address no less.

     A simple phone call in the beginning would have prevented all of this. Watch:

Hirer: BeepBeepBeep-BeepBeepBeep-BeepBeepBeepBeep. Phone calls out. *Ring Ring*
Me: "Hello?"
Hirer: "Hello, I'm so-n-so from such-in-such. I'm sorry to inform you that we cannot accept your employment at this time."
Me: "Oh, ok, why?"
Hirer: "We have others with more experience at this time."
Me: "Okay, thanks anyway."
Hirer: "You're welcome."
Me: "Bye."
Hirer: *click*

25 Sensual Ways To Pamper Your Body

2011-07-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

Cosmo Magazine's article from the July issue.

1. Stash a bowl of citrus-scented potpourri by your bed. Bitter orange blossoms contain the essential oil neroli, one of the oldest aphrodisiacs around.

2. Put on a sleeping mask after slipping into a warm, steamy bath. Eliminating one sense helps to heighten another.

3. Stick a bowl of grapes in your freezer. When you come home at the end of a humid day, let each one slowly melt in your mouth.

4. No more waking up to a shrieking beep, beep, beep. Set you iPod to rouse you with a song you associate with a piping hot sexual encounter or a relaxing vacay.

5. Pop in a strip tease how-to video, dim the lights and work your hips like no one is watching.

6. Come early evening, strip down and check yourself out in the mirror.

7. Chill your lotion in the fridge, and rub it onto your skin before bed.

8. On a night when you know you'll by dining solo, instead of settling for something that comes precooked on a tray, treat yourself to a top-notch meal.

9. Some fitness experts say to do push-ups and sit-ups when you first get out of bed. Instead, stay put and work your girl muscles for a few moments.

10. Position your bum in front of a pool's jet for a "massage."

11. After a Brazilian, slip on silky undies. The feel of the fabric against your bare, super sensitive skin? Amazing!

12. Snap erotic shots of yourself, and stop them away for your own enjoyment. When you're 80, you can look back and remember how smoking you were.

13. Create a cozy, relaxing nook in your place where you can go and just zone out. Fluffy pillows, a comfortable chair, and lots of light, soothing colors will help give the space a calm vibe.

14. Give yourself permission to enjoy a razzie-worthy movie solely for the fact that it contains a tummy-tingling sex scene.

15. Dangle your foot above a sprinkler, and let the strings of water tickle your heel.

16. Change up your perfume - and the locations where you spritz it - daily.

17. Work a drop of peppermint oil through your tresses while in the bath or shower.

18. Try a lotion candle - when you light the wick, the "wax" melts into a delicious smelling moisturizer that you can use on your whole body.

19. Splurge on some really good ground coffee beans, and savor a cup in your own kitchen before you walk out the door in the morning.

20. In the summer, not even a cold shower is enough to cool you down after a tough workout. Prevent sweat 'stache by shimmying into a nice crisp robe that's been chilling in your fridge for an hour or so.

21. Check out bookbyyou.com, which allows you to insert your own name into a steamy romance novel. Then read all about "your" naughty sexcapades.

22. Take a pastry class so you can whip yourself up a chocolate-ganache pie anytime you crave it.

23. For a constant reminder of your sexpotness, arrange your closet so that your raciest pieces -anything red or animal print - are front and center.

24. Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

25. Add a pinch of the spice saffron to a burger or bowl of soup. New research proves that it can turn you on.

Just thought you might need a tip if you are feeling stressed and need some R&R. I have personally tried some of these and I have found that they actually help or at least put me at ease.

Enjoy.

3D Image - I Love These!

2011-07-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

Can you see it?

Just keep looking ...

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< < < < > > > >

< < < > > >

< < > >

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Try crossing your eyes...

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< < > >

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< < < < > > > >

< < < < < > > > > >

< < < < < < > > > > > >

< < < < < < < > > > > > > >

< < < < < < > > > > > >

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Give up ???

It's Saturn !!!

Maybe picturing it will help you see it...

Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves

2011-07-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

     An article from Cosmo Magazine...

     In the following are some things women have asked men if they truely enjoy. They are categorized and colored. You may be surprised at some of the answers!

Red - "Go for it; that's amazingly hot.
Green - "Eh, I could take it or leave it."
Blue - "Whoa, please skip it."

First Category
SEDUCTION:

* Calling him while you're masturbating, giving him a preview of the moans you're going to make later that night.

* Asking him to give you a lap dance.

* Putting on a playlist of slow love songs to set the mood.

* Putting on a playlist of rap and hip-hop songs to set the mood.

* Drawing a bubble bath and offering to wash his body before you have sex.

*Taking his hand and pressing it against your underwear so he can feel how horny you are.

* Decorating the bed with rose petals and lighting a bunch of candles.

Second Category
KISSING:

* Lightly licking along his jawline, ending at the supersensitive spot in front of his ears.

* Running your tongue back and forth along the roof of his mouth.

* Biting down on his earlobe.

* Biting down on his tongue.

* Taking his tongue into your mouth and lightly sucking on it like you would his penis.

* Giving him a hickey.

* Kissing his ear and then blowing on it.

* Biting his lower and upper lips - hard.

Third Category
FOREPLAY:

*Pouring hot wax all over his chest.

* Drawing circles around his nipples with your tongue so they get hard - then gently biting them.

* Licking the sensitive skin behind the crook of his knees and elbows.

* Twisting his nipples with your fingers.

* Putting your palm over the tip of his penis and massaging just that area like it's a doorknob.

* Giving him a hand job and barely using any pressure, so you have a light grip on his penis.

* Tickling him from head to toe.

Forth Category
ORAL:

* Grabbing his butt cheeks and digging in with your nails as you're going down on him.

* Gently biting his penis.

* Putting the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, so his penis hits the underside of your tongue - making it feel like you're taking him all the way in.

* Gently nibbling on his balls.

* Sucking on the patch of skin between the base of his penis and his balls.

* Tugging down on his balls while you have his penis in your mouth.

* Asking him to finish on your breasts.

* Keeping his penis in your mouth after he climaxes, and continuing to suck on it lightly.

* Kissing his lips immediately after you finish going down on him.

Fifth Category
SEX:

* Getting on top and telling him not to move a single muscle - you control the pacing while he sits back and watches.

* Demanding that he scream your name midsex.

* Reaching between your legs and massaging his balls during doggie-style.

* Biting his shoulder hard enough to leave teeth marks when you're in missionary.

* Massaging your clitoris as he's thrusting, bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm.

* Flexing your Kegel muscles while he's inside you, squeezing each time he reenters you.

* Digging your nails into his shoulders and raking them down his back when he's on top, leaving red marks.

* Leaning over the arm of the couch and asking him to enter you from behind.

Sixth Category
NAUGHTY BONUS MOVES:

* Handcuffing him to the bed without saying a word.

* Kissing his butt cheek and gently biting it.

* Bringing a vibrator to bed and asking him to use it on your clit, then running it against the underside of his balls and shaft.

* Calling him "daddy" during sex.

* Asking him to spank your butt.

* Spanking his butt with a spatula.

* Masturbating in front of him , then asking him to masturbate in front of you.

* Pressing your fingers against the area of skin that's between his balls and anus.

* Putting your finger in his butt.

     A lot of these I thought would have been a number 1 on a man's list. I was actually surprised after I read these and realized a lot of men are not adventurous as I thought.

     They should be more like me and open to anything ... or anything at least once just to try it out. :)

Posting a Comment

2011-07-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

     I didn't know posting a comment on my own blog or anyone else's could be so difficult. Could someone please tell me how to do it.

     It shows a box that says "choose account" I've tried all of them and it still won't post anything.

     If someone could please give me simple directions of how to go about leaving a comment it would be greatly appreciated!

     Thanks.

WTF ???

2011-07-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

     So, I have decided to make a new segment called WTF Wednesdays. With this I will dedicate my blog to abstract things I see and think "WTF."

     for my the premier of this segment I begin with this. Before you look at it, know that I have a dirty mind 24/7.

     Looks may be deceiving.

What you see ... is a stethoscope, an instrument a doctor uses on his patients/clients. Now, what I see ... is a side view of the reproductive organs of the male anatomy. (to put it properly.)

Can you see it now ?? Huh? Huh? ... yeah.

How Lucky He Is.

2011-06-22T15:29:00.000-07:00

     Cosmo Magazine has another article I like. This article made me realize just how different I am from other females. I am way more willing, open, and adventurous than most of the women in this world.

     Shows me exactly how lucky my guy is. He has bragging rights over any man we know. I didn't know that there's so many small things I consider not to be a big deal that are really a BIG DEAL, apparently.

     These poor men, who have been deprived, who have been suffering, who have no idea what they have been missing. Makes me kinda happy that I am the girl who gets to open my boyfriends world. :)

75 Sex Moves His Ex Didn't Do:

These are statements made by many guys from around the world. What their girlfriends lacked in the bedroom or refused to do in general.

1. She didn't play with my nipples. They're sensitive and I like it when a woman flicks them with her tongue.

2. I was never woken up by her for morning sex. That's the time I am horniest, so she would have gotten major points.

3. It would have been nice if my ex switched things up more often and suggested new things for us to try when we're in bed.

4. She never looked up at me when performing oral sex.

5. I'd have liked her to play a bit with my back door. Nothing too invasive, just a little tickle.

6. Sometimes I wanted her to be the big spoon after sex.

7. What really bothered me was that after I'd gone down on her, she wouldn't let me kiss her until I brushed my teeth.

8. Guys sometimes have a middle-of-the-night uncontrollable sex craving where we need pleasure right now. Well, that was when her legs became a closed vice, and I'd lie there until she woke up ... but by then, the animalistic drive was gone.

9. Why wouldn't she ever play with my hair during sex? It feels so good.

10. She never let me touch her feet. She thought it was gross, but it really truns me on. I love running my hand down a woman's leg and slightly massaging her foot when I'm on top during sex.

11. Past girlfriends should have come up with cool, brand-new positions I had never heard of, then showed me how to do them.

12. It would have thrilled me if she had suggested playing with something kinky, like candle wax.

13. I wish she would have let me bring food items into bed, like whipped cream. She was always worried about getting messy, but that was the point.

14. Paid more attention to my balls during sex. They're very accessible during intercourse - especially during doggie-style or when the woman is on top, much like the clitoris for guys.

15. Nothing is hotter than a woman who scratches and rubs my back during sex. Thinking back, more of that would always have been nice.

16. I wish my girlfriend would have swallowed. It was always so anticlimactic when I'd reach the point of no return and watch her bail at the last second.

17. I think our sex life would have been hotter if she'd been a bit more rough. Little things like a spank or a bite go a long way. If I'm doing it to you, it's usually because I like it too.

18. My ex was big on teasing for foreplay, which was sexy ... to a degree. Sometimes, she would go overboard with the teasing, like constantly just licking the tip instead of sucking it or only letting the head in and then getting off me. Too much of on thing is a bad thing.

19. In movies, you always see the woman grabbing the head-board in the heat of passion.

20. She thought using toys was perverse and wouldn't even experiment. I personally love them and enjoy the intensity of both partners' orgasms.

21. She kept her eyes closed during sex. In the heat of the moment, I want eye contact.

22. A massage postsex isn't something I've had done for me before, but it would be amazing.

23. Right when I came out of the shower, she should have jumped me. I'd be dripping wet and ready to go.

24. It's be so hot if the next girl I dated would scream my name just when she was about to climax.

25. I spent a lot of time arousing her, but she never reciprocated. I think she thought I was just ready to go.

26. Used way more tongue while kissing.

27. The woman I used to date was really self-conscious and wouldn't touch herself in front of me. I want you to fondle your breasts while we have sex.

28. Whispered I'm so wet when were out at dinner.

29. She could have put the condom on me to make that moment much sexier.

30. I love when a girl is on top, but she used to just move up and down. Mix things up and lean back slightly - it gently bends my penis in a way that feels good.

31. No girl I have dated has brought sexy outfits or costumes into the bedroom. I would love it if a future girlfriend did.

32. If she had just watched porn with me, our sex life would have been even more thrilling. It is a fun thing to do as a couple and would have been such a turn on. I'd even have let her pick the flick.

33. I hated having to do all the work with my ex. Every once in a while, pin me down on the bed and take complete control.

34. She would never let me go down on her. I think she just felt weird about it. But I enjoy pleasing a woman that way, so it was a real bummer.

35. I wanted to have sex in the sauna, but she said her cheeks would get too red.

36. Speak up! I can't tell you how much more vocal I wish women would be.

37. Complimented my penis. She didn't need to gush, but I'd have liked to know that she enjoyed it.

38. I know my former girlfriend used a vibrator when I wasn't around. I'm totally cool with that, and I would have loved it if she had whipped it out and shown me how to use it on her.

39. I dated a woman for four years, and she never surprised me with sex. I always fantasized about her pulling me into the bathroom at a bar for a quickie.

40. Tried anal sex. I wanted to try something different, and if it didn't feel right, we could have stopped. But let's at least give it a shot.

41. I wish she would have met me on our lunch breaks for afternoon quickies in different locations.

42. Never once did she give me a blow job to completion. It's fine to use it as foreplay, but sometimes it's nice to have that be the main event.

43. I really wish she would have paid more attention to my scrotum instead of just the shaft.

44. She wasn't bad in bed, but she wasn't exciting either. She's give very soft kisses, but sometimes I wish she'd just bite at my neck or nip my bottom lip. It would have made me feel like she was more into the sex.

45. I wanted to be womken up in the middle of the night with her already riding me.

46. My ex could've given me a little spanking here and there. It's animalistic and feisty.

47. In missionary, she'd leave her feet on the bed with her knees spread. It would have been so much more fun if she'd wrap them around me when my thrusts were really working for her.

48. Let me know when she's about to climax. Guys want women to tell them so that we can try to time ours with yours. Even if she didn't want to say it out loud, she could have grabbed my butt or scratched my back to give me a sign.

49. Whenever she went down on me, she would only do it lying on the bed. I always hoped she'd do it while I was standing and she was on her knees.

50. When we were having sex from behind, she wouldn't turn her head to look at me. I want to be able to see a woman's X-rated expressions as I'm doing her from behind.

51. I told her I was into trying role-playing and got shut down. She could have at least come back with a suggestion she was comfortable with. It made me feel like I could never suggest anything even a little kinky ever again.

52. Immediately after sex, she would get dressed. It instantly killed whatever postsex vibe we had going on. Stay naked - it reminds me of the awesome time we just had.

53. I never felt she was open to conversations about what worked and what didn't work in bed. I'd love to be able to have that kind of open talk.

54. During foreplay, it never seemed like she was all that pumped to have sex. C'mon grind your pelvis into me or do something to let me know you're getting turned on.

55. I wish she'd have spent time kissing and licking my cut lines - that V-shaped area between a guy's thighs and abs. I spend a lot of time at the gym defining them, and they're really sensitive.

56. She refused to leave the lights on. It was a total buzzkill. Even if we started hooking up, right as I started undressing her, she would run to the switch. ugh!

57. I've had several ex-girlfriends who never let their hands play the leading role in sex. I still like hand jobs every once in a while.

58. When she touched my penis, it was like she was afraid she would break it. She was so gentle! A firmer grip would have improved her hand-job skills a hundred percent.

59. I'm all for round two, but my ex would always try to rush into it. She didn't understand my body needed a little time to recover - I'm not a porn star.

60. She'd squeeze her PC muscles toward the end of sex as she was about to orgasm, but it would have felt better if she'd have done it throughout us getting it on.

61. I love a woman on top, because it lets me see practically her whole body. My ex would bend over so our faces were close when she was in this position, and I couldn't see her breasts or anything else. It kind of made it pointless. I always wanted her to sit up straight.

62. When I first walked into her house, I'd have liked her to attack me. We could have had sex right against the door.

63. It would have driven me crazy if she had brought a big mirror into the bedroom and propped it somewhere near the bed, so we could watch ourselves going at it.

64. She hopped up to go to the bathroom as soon as we were done with sex. I would have preferred she let me stay inside her for a few minutes just to feel closer to her.

65. I think I would have passed out with excitement if she had sexily rubbed lube on my shaft before sex instead of waiting for me to reach for the bottle and put it on her.

66. Let me rip her shirt off her. It could have been an old one she didn't care about. It would make me feel like such an animal.

67. I just got out of a three-year relationship, and the entire time, I wanted her to play with my taint. All she needed to do was rub it with her finger. It's such a sensitive area.

68. I see this one hand-job maneuver in porn all the time but have never had it done to me. The girl grabs the guy's penis, one hand on top of the other so both hands touch, and then very lightly twists each hand in the opposite direction repeatedly.

69. If my ex had been more of a technician when it came to blow jobs, it would have made things so much better. It would have felt a lot nicer if she had really done some interesting moves with her mouth or tongue instead of just going up and down.

70. Blindfolded me or tied me up using her thong. A clean one, of course. It's unexpected and would have been so freaking hot.

71. I'd have liked her to suck on my testicles. Sometimes her hands were too rough, but her mouth would have been wet and soft.

72. Wake me up really early in the morning for sex. It's awesome because then we can laze in bed for a bit before we have to start the day.

73. Use her legs to spin her body in a circle while riding me. Thats my ultimate dream move.

74. Moaned while she was going down on me. Guys worry that women don't like oral. So if she had just made sounds to let me know she was having fun, it would have let me relax more and enjoy it.

75. Once, I had an ex who groaned and moaned loudly with every single thrust. I whish she had been more real with me. I know I am good, but I'm not that good.

You can see yourself that these poor men have been deprived. I believe that if more women were more open to try new things, they're would be less cheating, less fighting, and less crime.

If women were more open to try new things, cheating wouldn't be neccessary, the guy would be getting what he wanted so he wouldn't go looking somewhere else. There would be less fighting because sex and being physical relieves stress and pressure and relaxes people.

50 Things You Should've Never Stopped Doing

2011-06-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Cosmo Magazine Article.

1. Listening to the Spice Girls.

2. Doing the "beep the horn" gesture to truck drivers.

3. Celebrating Hump Day. :)

4. And Sunday Funday.

5. Adopting a fake accent for a night out at a bar... excuse me, pub.

6. Watching a TV show over the phone with your bestie so you can ZOMG over it together in real time.

7. Driving around aimlessly, listening to John Mayer, and pretending that he's still the sweet, soulful high school outcast who worships your wonderland body from afar.

8. Taking naps - get up early this weekend, run errands, be productive. Then come home and crash on the couch.

9. Going to an all-night diner and ordering the so-bad-for-you-it's good pancake bonanza ... and proclaiming your worship of whoever was behind the brilliance of combining butter, syrup, chocolate chips, whipped cream, strawberries, and bacon.

10. Making Saturday night plans on Saturday night.

11. Running around naked just because.

12. Babysitting so you sneak your guy over and make out with him after the kids go to bed.

13. Enjoying a low-budget '80s horror movie.

14. Holding your breath when you pass a graveyard.

15. Making cookies for the sole purpose of eating the raw batter.

16. Playing spin the bottle... every one's braces-free!

17. Designing the cover of a mix CD with a Sharpie.

18. Flip cup - if you had room for it in your dorm, you have room for it now.

19. Always having a crush... even if you're in a relationship... even if he's the Jersey Shore look-alike at your gum who you would nevah date in real life.

20. Dressing festively for the Fourth of July. (and Valentine's, St. Pattys, etc.)

21. Wearing your hair in braided pigtails... guys dig that sort of naughty-schoolgirl thing, in case you didnt' know.

22. Rocking a scrunchie... but not in public. Social Suicide.

23. Drinking chocolate milk - research found it's one of the best things you can drink after a workout.

24. Prom. Throw a theme party and work that old Delia's dress.

25. Playing kickball - it's a bazillion times better than the dreadmill.

26. Choreographing dances. (or relearning your old talent show routine.)

27. Sleepovers! Cover the living room floor with blankets, pillows, snacks, and since you're legal now, lots of wine.

28. Shopping with mom... she's like a living 50% off coupon.

29. Playing makeup artist on a friend - a turquoise, neon yellow, and a hot pink palette is encouraged..

30. Picking out your outfit - accessories and all - the night before work as if it were the first day of school.

31. Treating September like it's the beginning of the year: Buy new office supplies and pledge to get an A in memo writing.

32. Conference-calling your three best friends on a weeknight.

33. Taking up an activity that you probably tried at camp like archery.

34. Spending all day in bed watching bad Lifetime movies.

35. Keeping a list of every boy you've ever fooled around with... the more juicy deets you include, the better your hiding place should be.

36. Giving those glorious inner-arm tickles.

37. Instituting Taco Tuesdays, Pizza Thursdays, etc.

38. Getting "picked up" from school... only now, instead of climbing into your mom's minivan post-seventh period, hop into your bf's jeep after you clock out of work.

39. Wearing ridiculous party hats all night long when it's someones birthday... or even when it's just to score some free drinks.

40. Writing mushy, where-are-you-now? letter to your future self and stowing them away from another 10 or so years.

41. Going by that trendy name you wish your parents had been hip enough to give you, like Chloe or Bella.

42. Marco Polo.

43. Having a planned, well-thought-out afternoon snack, like celery with peanut butter and raisins, that you look forward to all day long.

44. Making the mall your night-out destination.

45. Watching TV while lying on the floor, snuggling with your fluffy husband pillow.

46. Storing makeup in your offensively large, Bright purple Caboodle - ugly as hell, but man was it convenient.

47. Going to a fancy dress store and trying on black-tie gowns just to see how you would look should you ever get that Oscars invite.

48. Taking a yearbook picture - drop a few for a portrait of yourself every year and you'll have plenty of hot pics to display of yourself when you're old.

49. Stealing style inspiration from Stacey and Claudia of The Babysitters Club... Mary Anne's short 'n' sassy makeover do is an option too.

50. Being totally infatuated with the fact that you have boobs... remember how excited you were to take them bra shopping and show them off in a baby tee?