For selfish people like myself, I have numerous reasons why I refuse to breed. I'm sure kids are great and the experience is amazing, or so I've been told, kids are trouble.
Let's start with the most obvious shall we:
1. PREGNANCY. Who actually wants to bear a child in them for a minimum of nine months?? Being pregnant may be a beautiful thing for some people but from what I hear ... The baby likes to squish bladders and kick a lot. Also, Morning sickness. I don't know about you but I'd prefer not to throw up almost every day if I didn't have to. I know it only last a while but still. I've also heard that people have strict diets because some things might harm the baby or things that you once loved will make you sicker than a dog. In my opinion, those foods are not worth giving up.
2. GETTING FAT. You are carrying this thing for nine months ... it makes you FAT. Have you heard of stretch marks? Well you'll see them soon enough when you start showing that gastly baby bump. Not to mention your feet swell up and become enormous and everything aches. You have to buy new clothes because nothing fits anymore, which gets expensive.
Is this what you WANT to look like? Me - HELL no! This is NOT attractive.
3. CHILD BIRTH. Who in their right mind WANTS to have an object at least the size of a bowling ball coming out a hole the size of a ping pong ball?? Can you say ouch and a few other choice words? No wonder women start screaming and yelling "I hate you" and "Why did you do this to me?" and other obscenities. I be pissed and stressed out too. And if you can't have vaginal birth you have to go with option B: a caesarean section. They literally have to cut you open to get this thing out of you. Thanks, but no thanks.
4. After the child is removed from you: clean up, relaxation, and crying. The baby is pissed because it has to do its own thing now, no longer mooching off mommy's good stuff. (not including breast feeding.)
5. BREAST FEEDING. Do you really want this thing sucking on your nipple almost all the time. It's a nice feeling, but only for certain reasons. Nipples get big, sensitive, and sore. Sensitive to the point where they don't want to be touched. Where is the fun in that?
6. MONEY. You will notice your money goes a lot faster when there is a kid involved. It needs food, it needs drink (if not breast feeding and even after.) it needs toys and it needs clothes. And the faster they grow the faster they will need more clothes and food and toys. This is plus what you already spend on yourself.
7. INFANCY. Crying, whining, peeing, pooping, eating, sucking, and sleeping. That is it. They sleep (rarely), they whine almost constantly, they cry when the whining isn't resolved, they pee and poop constantly all day long, and they eat and eat and eat.
8. TODDLER YEARS. The still whine when they don't get their way. They start to talk and walk and you have to go through potty training. And soon they start school, there goes more of your money...
9. KID YEARS. Kids are trouble. They don't listen, they like to break things and color on everything they KNOW they shouldn't. And now a days it's "illegal" or "wrong" to punish your kids. I say bullshit. I got the belt, the paddle, the wooden spoon, and other things and I turned out pretty damn well.
10. TEEN YEARS. oh. my. god. This is what all parents are afraid of. Puberty. It's different between genders but still a pain in the ass. They start eating more, thinking about the opposite sex, getting acne, worried about peers, develope emotions and "feelings." This is also the rebel stage of the childs life. You think they didn't listen before ... hahahaha ... just you wait.
Point is, is that you have to take care of this thing for and LEAST 18 years (or more) it just depends. In my opinion all this torture and self mutilation ... not worth it. Or I might just be extremely selfish. I haven't figured that one out yet.
TMI....
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