Another article I took an interest in from Cosmo Magazine (written by: Annie Daly). Some of them are good ideas and some are just ... not. Take a look, tell me what you think...
1. Sport a little white lacy pair, and then hop in the shower with your guy. It's like a wet-tee-shirt contest... only it's down there. And there's no tee-shirt.
2. When you're at the bar, take off your thong and slip it into his hand.
3. Snap a pic of your hottest lingerie, and text it to him with the message "Can't wait to get these off tonight."
4. Run a pair under hot water, then wrap it around his shaft and squeeze. The heat helps increase his blood flow down there, making him rock-hard and explosion-ready.
5. Use your underwear as a scrunchie.
6. Do the handcuff: Use your skivvies to tie his hands behind his back (one hand goes in each hole), and then go down on him. The sex-cop thing really never gets old.
7. Leave your underwear on while he's touching you during foreplay. Friction, baby, friction.
8. Make a dirty bracelet: Grab a lacy thong, and wrap it around your wrist a few times.
9. Put a slinky thong over your fingers, gently circle them around his tip, and let him savor the silky way.
10. Keep your underwear on during sex - just push it aside. The immediacy makes it a horndog's heaven, like you simply can't wait to have him.
11. Hide a tiny thong in the pocket of his suit pants. He'll find it while he's at work (just hope it's not when he's in front of his boss) and think of you All. Day. Long.
12. Be a down-south dominatrix... with yourself. Touch your lady parts through your underwear in front of him. Guys will never pass up a good show.
13. Clean your place in your skivvies-bust out a broom, a dustpan... go huge. He'll want to sweep you straight into the sack.
14. Two words: edible underwear. It exists. Wear a pair and let him devour it.
15. Or go DIY: Make a pair with whipped cream, then let him lick it off you. For a lusty topping, eat cherries together after the act.
16. Cut a hole in them, and have sex through the opening. Peep shows = so insanely hot.
17. "Accidentally" leave a skimpy pair in his underwear drawer. The surprise will be extra sexy since it's unexpected.
18. Sit on top of him with your undies on, and slowly grind in a circular motion. Hold out for as long as possible - the anticipation will kill him - then 86 your skivvies and get it on.
19. Have him head down there and breathe on you over your undies. The warm air will feel ahhhmazing.
20. Call it the gunslinger: Slide off your underwear, twirl it around your pointer finger, and shoot it like a rubber band right at him.
21. Put your undies over his eyes, blindfold-style. Restricting his vision intensifies his other senses, so he'll be more horny (if that's even possible).
22. Have him place his ankles in the holes of your underwear, almost like you're tying his feet together. He'll feel dominated - aka massively turned on.
23. Cook him breakfast wearing only your boy shorts. Men get majorly hot when they see just a hint of your butt cheeks... and while you're holding a spatula? Yum.
24. Strut your stuff wearing nothing but your girliest lingerie and a pair of ferosh boots. The sweet-sultry combo is insanely sexy.
25. Wear neon underwear. It's just plain awesome.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Cheap Bastards
Let me start off by saying "I hate people." It's not a race thing it's not a gender thing I just hate all people. Equally.
I work at a sports bar down the street. I love my job, what I mean is, I love serving and being social. I know this doesn't make sense with the whole "I don't like people" thing but it's true.
First off, I make $2.90 an hour. theoretically. Second off, tips are optional not required.
If you are in a party of 7 or more, expect delays.
If you are high maintenance and picky as shit, expect delays.
If our place of business is even somewhat busy, expect delays.
When I give you a 32 oz drink, don't drink it within 30 seconds and then shake your glass at me like it's been 10 minutes since you've had something in your cup.
The law requires that if you look under 40 years old I MUST CARD YOU. Take it as a compliment.
If I ask you what you want, don't tell me "surprise me" and then get mad when it's something you don't want. Maybe you should have told me anyway.
Tip at LEAST 10 percent you cheap bastards. I am never that terrible.
If something comes out wrong, tell me, I will fix it. Promptly.
If I make several trips to your table asking if everything is okay and you say yes, how the hell am I to know that you are unhappy and something is wrong??? Tell me.
I am required to repeat your order, so if I say something that is not right, again, tell me.
When I come to the table and ask if you need anything, tell me everything at once, do NOT keep me running back and forth for you every time I return to the table.
Cash tips are more appreciated than credit or debit tips. I don't have to claim those. :)
When I say "I have a boyfriend." it is NOT my subtle way of saying try harder, it means "I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested."
If I am in the middle of talking to a table don't interrupt me. Signal me, I will reach you when I'm done greeting the new table.
Don't yell at me from across the room.
Don't ever EVER effing sit down at a dirty table and demand me to clean it ASAP. You chose to sit at that dirty table. You can suffer until I'm ready.
Never snap at me to do something.
Never shake your glass at me.
Just saying, these are some things that would help us get along a little better and would make your visit much more pleasant. This would also keep me happy and considering I handle your food ... Don't piss me off. :)
Have a great day!!
I work at a sports bar down the street. I love my job, what I mean is, I love serving and being social. I know this doesn't make sense with the whole "I don't like people" thing but it's true.
First off, I make $2.90 an hour. theoretically. Second off, tips are optional not required.
If you are in a party of 7 or more, expect delays.
If you are high maintenance and picky as shit, expect delays.
If our place of business is even somewhat busy, expect delays.
When I give you a 32 oz drink, don't drink it within 30 seconds and then shake your glass at me like it's been 10 minutes since you've had something in your cup.
The law requires that if you look under 40 years old I MUST CARD YOU. Take it as a compliment.
If I ask you what you want, don't tell me "surprise me" and then get mad when it's something you don't want. Maybe you should have told me anyway.
Tip at LEAST 10 percent you cheap bastards. I am never that terrible.
If something comes out wrong, tell me, I will fix it. Promptly.
If I make several trips to your table asking if everything is okay and you say yes, how the hell am I to know that you are unhappy and something is wrong??? Tell me.
I am required to repeat your order, so if I say something that is not right, again, tell me.
When I come to the table and ask if you need anything, tell me everything at once, do NOT keep me running back and forth for you every time I return to the table.
Cash tips are more appreciated than credit or debit tips. I don't have to claim those. :)
When I say "I have a boyfriend." it is NOT my subtle way of saying try harder, it means "I have a boyfriend and I'm not interested."
If I am in the middle of talking to a table don't interrupt me. Signal me, I will reach you when I'm done greeting the new table.
Don't yell at me from across the room.
Don't ever EVER effing sit down at a dirty table and demand me to clean it ASAP. You chose to sit at that dirty table. You can suffer until I'm ready.
Never snap at me to do something.
Never shake your glass at me.
Just saying, these are some things that would help us get along a little better and would make your visit much more pleasant. This would also keep me happy and considering I handle your food ... Don't piss me off. :)
Have a great day!!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Tis Awful But True ...
I Heard a quote the other day. I still haven't decided whether it was funny or just sad. With how sad it is, it is very true.
"20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no "Jobs," no "Cash," and no "Hope.""
Too soon ??
"20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no "Jobs," no "Cash," and no "Hope.""
Too soon ??
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I Done Told You Bitches.
Okay, our CRAPPY NEIGHBORS once again give me something else to blog about. I have previously mentioned how they park up and down the street so no one else can park by their own house, how they call the police on other neighbors and how they are rude as hell.
Well, today boyfriend and I went out to take my truck in to get new tires and a new lense for my tail light and sure enough are crappy neighbors have another one of their vehicles parked in front of our drive way. AGAIN. this time it's a red SUV, much bigger and takes up more space. Only this time it is parked up on our curb into our grass and once AGAIN they are parked too close to our driveway. Seriously, what pricks!!
So, today, boyfriend called the county sheriff and reported the abandoned vehicle that has been in front of our driveway for four days and has not moved. They sent out a person to tag the window and mark the tires of the vehicle. They wait 24 hours and come back to check if the vehicle has moved, if it has not, they ticket them or they just might tow it. Either way, this pleases me thouroughly.
We will do this repeatedly until the problem is solved and we don't care how many vehicles they go through. First it was a van then it was the sons truck and now its the big ass SUV, enough is enough.
Suck it bitches.
Well, today boyfriend and I went out to take my truck in to get new tires and a new lense for my tail light and sure enough are crappy neighbors have another one of their vehicles parked in front of our drive way. AGAIN. this time it's a red SUV, much bigger and takes up more space. Only this time it is parked up on our curb into our grass and once AGAIN they are parked too close to our driveway. Seriously, what pricks!!
So, today, boyfriend called the county sheriff and reported the abandoned vehicle that has been in front of our driveway for four days and has not moved. They sent out a person to tag the window and mark the tires of the vehicle. They wait 24 hours and come back to check if the vehicle has moved, if it has not, they ticket them or they just might tow it. Either way, this pleases me thouroughly.
We will do this repeatedly until the problem is solved and we don't care how many vehicles they go through. First it was a van then it was the sons truck and now its the big ass SUV, enough is enough.
Suck it bitches.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Tis The Season!
Halloween is my FAVORITE time of the year. I love the colors, love the season, love the weather and I love the holiday. Y'all know my favorite team is Oregon State so my two favorite colors together are orange and black. As you can guess I love to decorate for Halloween.
My favorite bit of decoration is my black Christmas tree with pumpkin ornaments. :) Who in the world besides me has a BLACK Christmas tree?? That is why I like it so much.
I dedicate everything I make/have/buy orange and black to Oregon State. They inspire me.
My favorite bit of decoration is my black Christmas tree with pumpkin ornaments. :) Who in the world besides me has a BLACK Christmas tree?? That is why I like it so much.
I dedicate everything I make/have/buy orange and black to Oregon State. They inspire me.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Nerve!
I have previously written a blog about our obnoxious "next door" neighbors. (They really live across the street.) Here's a picture to help imagine this.
Now that you can see it let me explain the situation. Our crappy neighbors like to park as many of their cars on the street as possible to leave room on their 5 car empty driveway. They park across the street in front of our house which lately it has been blocking our driveway. Makes us mad. They don't really give a shit.
Well there is a whole street in front of their house where the front door is but, no, they park in front of our house and the neighbors house. We have had this problem for a while now, it's gotten so serious that we've threatened to call the police and have them be towed if the don't move.
They refuse to listen. But yesterday I heard through the grapevine from our nice next door neighbors that the crappy neighbors called the police and called in saying that our nice next door neighbor was parked in the middle of an intersection. The nerve of these people. Our neighborhood is very slow traffic wise so no one really worries. Our neighbor knew the cop that eventually came to the house and he told him who had reported it.
So, these assholes who do what ever they want and don't care have the nerve to call and report someone else who has been nothing but nice. We are waiting for the next night they park in front of our drive way to either call the police and have them towed or wait and park in front of them and behind them and block them in. We have other ideas but these are legal and non-damaging.
Now that you can see it let me explain the situation. Our crappy neighbors like to park as many of their cars on the street as possible to leave room on their 5 car empty driveway. They park across the street in front of our house which lately it has been blocking our driveway. Makes us mad. They don't really give a shit.
Well there is a whole street in front of their house where the front door is but, no, they park in front of our house and the neighbors house. We have had this problem for a while now, it's gotten so serious that we've threatened to call the police and have them be towed if the don't move.
They refuse to listen. But yesterday I heard through the grapevine from our nice next door neighbors that the crappy neighbors called the police and called in saying that our nice next door neighbor was parked in the middle of an intersection. The nerve of these people. Our neighborhood is very slow traffic wise so no one really worries. Our neighbor knew the cop that eventually came to the house and he told him who had reported it.
So, these assholes who do what ever they want and don't care have the nerve to call and report someone else who has been nothing but nice. We are waiting for the next night they park in front of our drive way to either call the police and have them towed or wait and park in front of them and behind them and block them in. We have other ideas but these are legal and non-damaging.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)