HELP! I'M HUNGRY!!!

     I went to visit my g-ma at the home the other day. She is very content in her space and loves company. This is much different than how she used to be.

     While we were there, the nurse came in and started talking to us. She said that they had to take my g-ma's phone away. Little absurd we thought... until we asked why.

     The nurse said that a couple days ago my g-ma called 911 and complained that they weren't feeding her. I laughed ... so hard. This would be somewhat okay if it were true. They feed her breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ... everyday. But g-ma's memory is so bad that as soon as she eats, she forgets instantly.

     The nurse continues to explain that the next day g-ma called 911 again, this time asking for snacks because again, they weren't feeding her. I couldn't stop laughing! I thought it was hilarious. So they took her phone. Now, this is understandable.

     When we visited today, the phone was there ... unplugged.

The Sexiest Spots to Touch Him During Sex

     Cosmo's magazine has another interesting article called the sexiest spots to touch him during sex. It got me thinking.

 Number 1:
     This of his shaft... like the outer curve of your breast.
     Consider how it feels when he gently caresses the sides of your boobs at the beginning of foreplay. He may not be making a beeline for the obvious pleasure gold mines that are you nipples, but you're still totally turned on, right? Same goes for a guy's shaft: touch it lightly at first, avoiding all the other hot spots of his penis, and you'll build his anticipation, making him all revved up.

     * Take his shaft between your open palms and tap it back and forth, almost like you're volleying a tennis ball. The quick movements are a fun way to wake up his nerves.
     * Teasingly lick the sides of his shaft. The sideways motion is an unexpected sensation.
     * Lie on top of your guy, place his shaft between your breasts, and move up and down so his penis glides smoothly between them. Do the man math: seeing your boobs + feeling his penis on them = what's not to love?
     * While you suck and lick the top half of him, grip his lower part firmly with one fist, and move up and down. His entire package gets stimulated at once.
     * Run a washcloth under ver warm water, then wrap it around his shaft and squeeze. The heat helps increase the blood flow, making him rock hard.
     * Squirt a drop of lube in each palm, grap his penis with one hand over the other, and twist in opposite directions, creating lots of feel-good friction.

 Number 2:
     Think of his testicles... like your nipples.
     You know how your nipples get bigger and darker when you're turned on? So do guy's balls. When a woman becomes aroused, her nipples enlarge because they are engorged with blood. Likewise, when a man is excited, his scrotal sac fills with blood and becomes more sensitive. 

     * As you kiss him, cradle his boys in your palm. No need to caress - your hand's warmth is enough.
     * Pull the skin away from his jewels using your thumb and forefinger, and lightly massage it. The skin is less sensitive, so it can handle a bit more pressure.
     * Rub the flat sides of your fingernails against his scrotum. They're harder, smoother, and cooler than your fingertips, so it feels different.
     * Take one testicle at a time into your mouth, and suck. It is unlike any sensation you could create using your hands and gets him even hornier.
     * When you are on top and feel like he's right on the verge of climaxing, reach behind and gently pull his balls down away from his body. Stretching them like this exposes more nerve endings, making his orgasm even more intense.

 Number 3:
     Think of the base of his penis... like your pubic mound.
     When a guy takes a brake from stroking your clitoris and rubs your pubic mound - the round fleshy area just above your hot button - it's a steamy treat. Similarly, the base of a guy's penis connects his shaft to his body.

     * Form a ring with your thumb and middle finger like you're giving an okay sign, and place it around the base. Squeeze gently, then harder. This will keep the blood in his penis, so he'll feel good... and last longer.
     * Firmly holdthe bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it toward the base, then pull it back lightly. Since it's all connected, it'll shoot a tingly sensation from his base to the head and back. 
     * Make the tip of your tongue into a firm point, and trail it around the base. Since you usually focus on the top three-quarters of his package, he;ll be surprised and aroused.
     * With a flat, soft tongue, lick all the way around the base of his penis three or four times, and then take your mouth away from his package. Pause, and repeat. The move will feel awesome, and the waiting will excite him more.
     * Post-O, massage the base of his penis lightly - use one fingertip, and move it in small circles. His balls and head and shaft are too sensitive to be touched right after he's climaxed, but he'll love gentle attention here.

 Number 4:
     Think of the head of his penis... like your clitoris.
     Your clitoris is jam-packed with millions of nerve endings, as is the tip of his member, also known as the glans. And even though his glans can take a bit more pressure than your clitoris - the nerves are spread over a slightly larger area - it's all very sensitive.

     * You have to admit it feels extra erotic when he touches you through your panties. So share the love: Pull a silky thong over hour hand, swirl your covered-up fingers around his tip, and let him experience the joy of fabric.
     * Grip his shaft loosely with one hand, then open your mouth, hover right over his head, and breathe slowly and heavily. The sexy heat will literally warm him up and send tingles from his tip to his base.
     * Guide his penis into your mouth at an angle, so it hits the inside of your cheek. The skin is smooth and soft there, so it eels awesome against him.
     * Cover the head and upper shaft of his penis with your mouth, and suck on the tip like you're slurping a shake through a straw. 
     * When you're straddling him, stop and raise your hips so only his tip is still inside you. Squeeze your vagina like you're doing a Kegel - he'll love the intense pressure.

 Number 5:
     Think of his perineum... like your G-spot.
     All hail the sexy G-spot. It's the small, spongy area located about 2 inches up the front wall of your vagina that gives you one of those super-deep, way intense orgasms. A guy's perineum, the patch of skin between his anus and testicles, is a very similar producer of body-rocking inner pleasure.

     * As you're stroking his shaft with one hand, reach down and massage his perineum with the pad of your thumb - roll it from one side to the other, almost like you're giving a fingerprint.
     * Dart your tongue in and out like a snake, flicking it quicly. The fast movements will get him super hyped. 
     * Use the knuckle of your pointer finger to press against it firmly as you give him oral. It's best to use this move if you're ready for him to finish, since the combo of oral and perineum contact is sure to speed things up.
     * Press your lips together like you're about to plant one on him, then place them directly over his P-spot, and suck. The suction brings more blood to the area, engorging it and making him shiver.
     * When he's in missionary and about to finish, reach down and push the spot - just like you would a button - to make his finale even more moanworthy.   

WTF??

     When I was traveling home from Tennessee a couple weeks ago I saw this sign:

     I don't know about you but I couldn't trust a place that's so cheap. :( No Bueno. This is also false advertisement... It clearly says "Dollar Inn" and yet it's more than a dollar to stay here. It might be dirty, falling apart or ready available for thieves.
   
     I can imagine myself cowering in a corner with a spatula saying "This is it." If I could afford a black light I might use it to see if everything was "sanitary." ... On second thought, I might not want to know.

     I think my best chances would be sleeping on the ceiling. That way if I had an unexpected guest I could leap from the ceiling and attack them from above with the element of surprise. Hahaha!

    

# 15 Message in a Bottle

     So, I was recently on vacation in Okoboji, Iowa and my main goal was to do # 15 on my bucket list. This would be to send a message in a bottle. The second to last day we were there I wrote a short half page note, rolled it up and twisty-tied it.

     My note read:

   Hi there,
     My name is Amanda and I made a bucket list and have been adding to it for years. # 15 on my list is to send a message in a bottle. I chose Okoboji because I have been coming up here for 23 years. I consider it my home-away-from-home now. Lately this place has changed a lot and fast. Everything is getting more expensive, it's starting to overcrowd with idiots, and everything is up for sale including the places I stay. This may be my last year up so I decided to leave on a good note. I hope I can continue to return to this beautiful place.
                      *BoJi4LifE*

     This is my bottle! (Not literally) that would be evidence for littering... mine was in a diet coke bottle. :) But, YAY, I can cross this off my list now!!!

WTF ?

     Again, I have dedicated Wednesdays to be WTF Wednesday(s). I select a picture from my collection and I share it with you.


     Traveling through Tennessee we saw a lot of things. But this caught our attention more than anything. Driving down the interstate we saw these two places RIGHT NEXT DOOR to each other. First, from afar, we saw this:

     This was an anti-abortion clinic/church. Very religious group of people here who believe that abortion is never a choice. Church also tells you that you should never have pre-marital sex. Ever. Mostly because it is a "sin" but also because it can be cause of an unwanted pregnancy. See how these two relate?

     Anyway, as we get closer, we see this building right next door to it.

     Seeing these two next to each other was quite funny. They portray this huge white cross where everyone can see it and then this building (out of spite I think) goes up.

     We are not sure which building was built first but definitely think one was built right after the other for comedy reasons.

WTF?

Common Decency ?

     I recently applied for a job, nothing big, but it was just for money needs. I was called about 2 days later from someone presenting me with a chance for an interview. I joyfully accepted. (I thought it would have taken longer for them to get back to me.) So the day came and I went in for a sit-down.

     She asked me questions, I answered respectively. The interview went very well she said. Yay! Me! As we were wrapping it up she told me she would call me in a few days so I could come in for my 2nd interview ? okay, I thought.

     A couple hours later I receive the phone call so we set the date. This time I had to meet with a different lady. So I went in and sat down with her. She said this interview went great and she would call me in the next couple days to schedule orientation for me. Sweet! Job is mine!

     I spoke to soon. 1 day went by, nocall. 2 days go by, nocall, 3 days, 4 days. On the forth day, I call. Apparently she wasn't there. Day 5, no call, day 6, no call, finally on day 7 I was surfing the interwebs and decided to check my email, lone behold ... I have an email, NOT from her, from the business. Telling me I am over-qualified and their accepting other people with more experience. HOW THE FUCK that makes sense ??? I'll never know.

     It was a no reply email address, so I replied.  :)

[[  To whoever reads this.

     Thank you so much for not calling me like you said you were going to. You lied.

     Thank you so much for feeding me false hope that I got the job when in fact I didn't. You lied.

     Thank you so much for telling me I'm "over-qualified" but yet seeking others with more experience at this time. You lied.

     I took 3 hours out of my time to drive to your business and talk to you and you send me an email. You didn't even have the decency to call me and tell me that I didn't get the job. It would've taken 30 seconds fo your "paid" time to tell me this. But no, you found a lazy way out and sent an email. (Even though you told me to wait for a phone call. <- this is rude.) I waited a week for a non-existing phone call that you told me specifically to wait for.

     If you emailed me because you couldn't deal with me getting rejected and didn't want to hear me complain, you were terribly mistaken.

                    Sincerely,
                      Your "over-qualified"
                      yet unexperienced should
                      have been employee. ]]]

      Is it that hard to pick up a phone and dial 7 numbers? That email I received felt like a text message. it felt like I was getting gossip over my phone. Are people that fucking lazy that they can't talk to people anymore? "To avoid verbal conflict I'll just email (text) them. At a non-reply email address no less.

     A simple phone call in the beginning would have prevented all of this. Watch:

Hirer: BeepBeepBeep-BeepBeepBeep-BeepBeepBeepBeep. Phone calls out. *Ring Ring*
Me: "Hello?"
Hirer: "Hello, I'm so-n-so from such-in-such. I'm sorry to inform you that we cannot accept your employment at this time."
Me: "Oh, ok, why?"
Hirer: "We have others with more experience at this time."
Me: "Okay, thanks anyway."
Hirer: "You're welcome."
Me: "Bye."
Hirer: *click*

25 Sensual Ways To Pamper Your Body

Cosmo Magazine's article from the July issue.

1. Stash a bowl of citrus-scented potpourri by your bed. Bitter orange blossoms contain the essential oil neroli, one of the oldest aphrodisiacs around.

2. Put on a sleeping mask after slipping into a warm, steamy bath. Eliminating one sense helps to heighten another.

3. Stick a bowl of grapes in your freezer. When you come home at the end of a humid day, let each one slowly melt in your mouth.

4. No more waking up to a shrieking beep, beep, beep. Set you iPod to rouse you with a song you associate with a piping hot sexual encounter or a relaxing vacay.

5. Pop in a strip tease how-to video, dim the lights and work your hips like no one is watching.

6. Come early evening, strip down and check yourself out in the mirror.

7. Chill your lotion in the fridge, and rub it onto your skin before bed.

8. On a night when you know you'll by dining solo, instead of settling for something that comes precooked on a tray, treat yourself to a top-notch meal.

9. Some fitness experts say to do push-ups and sit-ups when you first get out of bed. Instead, stay put and work your girl muscles for a few moments.

10. Position your bum in front of a pool's jet for a "massage."

11. After a Brazilian, slip on silky undies. The feel of the fabric against your bare, super sensitive skin? Amazing!

12. Snap erotic shots of yourself, and stop them away for your own enjoyment. When you're 80, you can look back and remember how smoking you were.

13. Create a cozy, relaxing nook in your place where you can go and just zone out. Fluffy pillows, a comfortable chair, and lots of light, soothing colors will help give the space a calm vibe.

14. Give yourself permission to enjoy a razzie-worthy movie solely for the fact that it contains a tummy-tingling sex scene.

15. Dangle your foot above a sprinkler, and let the strings of water tickle your heel.

16. Change up your perfume - and the locations where you spritz it - daily.

17. Work a drop of peppermint oil through your tresses while in the bath or shower.

18. Try a lotion candle - when you light the wick, the "wax" melts into a delicious smelling moisturizer that you can use on your whole body.

19. Splurge on some really good ground coffee beans, and savor a cup in your own kitchen before you walk out the door in the morning.

20. In the summer, not even a cold shower is enough to cool you down after a tough workout.  Prevent sweat 'stache by shimmying into a nice crisp robe that's been chilling in your fridge for an hour or so.

21. Check out bookbyyou.com, which allows you to insert your own name into a steamy romance novel. Then read all about "your" naughty sexcapades.

22. Take a pastry class so you can whip yourself up a chocolate-ganache pie anytime you crave it.

23. For a constant reminder of your sexpotness, arrange your closet so that your raciest pieces -anything red or animal print - are front and center.

24. Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

25. Add a pinch of the spice saffron to a burger or bowl of soup. New research proves that it can turn you on.

Just thought you might need a tip if you are feeling stressed and need some R&R. I have personally tried some of these and I have found that they actually help or at least put me at ease.

Enjoy.

3D Image - I Love These!

     Can you see it?

 Just keep looking ...

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Try crossing your eyes...

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Give up ???

It's Saturn !!!

Maybe picturing it will help you see it...

:)

Guys Rate 50 Sex Moves

     An article from Cosmo Magazine...

     In the following are some things women have asked men if they truely enjoy. They are categorized and colored. You may be surprised at some of the answers!

Red - "Go for it; that's amazingly hot.
Green - "Eh, I could take it or leave it."
Blue - "Whoa, please skip it."

First Category
SEDUCTION:

* Calling him while you're masturbating, giving him a preview of the moans you're going to make later that night.

* Asking him to give you a lap dance.

* Putting on a playlist of slow love songs to set the mood.

* Putting on a playlist of rap and hip-hop songs to set the mood.

* Drawing a bubble bath and offering to wash his body before you have sex.

*Taking his hand and pressing it against your underwear so he can feel how horny you are.

* Decorating the bed with rose petals and lighting a bunch of candles.

Second Category
KISSING:

* Lightly licking along his jawline, ending at the supersensitive spot in front of his ears.

* Running your tongue back and forth along the roof of his mouth.

* Biting down on his earlobe.

* Biting down on his tongue.

* Taking his tongue into your mouth and lightly sucking on it like you would his penis.

* Giving him a hickey.

* Kissing his ear and then blowing on it.

* Biting his lower and upper lips - hard.

Third Category
FOREPLAY:

*Pouring hot wax all over his chest.

* Drawing circles around his nipples with your tongue so they get hard - then gently biting them.

* Licking the sensitive skin behind the crook of his knees and elbows.

* Twisting his nipples with your fingers.

* Putting your palm over the tip of his penis and massaging just that area like it's a doorknob.

* Giving him a hand job and barely using any pressure, so you have a light grip on his penis.

* Tickling him from head to toe.

Forth Category
ORAL:

* Grabbing his butt cheeks and digging in with your nails as you're going down on him.

* Gently biting his penis.

* Putting the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth, so his penis hits the underside of your tongue - making it feel like you're taking him all the way in.

* Gently nibbling on his balls.

* Sucking on the patch of skin between the base of his penis and his balls.

* Tugging down on his balls while you have his penis in your mouth.

* Asking him to finish on your breasts.

* Keeping his penis in your mouth after he climaxes, and continuing to suck on it lightly.

* Kissing his lips immediately after you finish going down on him.

Fifth Category
SEX:

* Getting on top and telling him not to move a single muscle - you control the pacing while he sits back and watches.

* Demanding that he scream your name midsex.

* Reaching between your legs and massaging his balls during doggie-style.

* Biting his shoulder hard enough to leave teeth marks when you're in missionary.

* Massaging your clitoris as he's thrusting, bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm.

* Flexing your Kegel muscles while he's inside you, squeezing each time he reenters you.

* Digging your nails into his shoulders and raking them down his back when he's on top, leaving red marks.

* Leaning over the arm of the couch and asking him to enter you from behind.

Sixth Category
NAUGHTY BONUS MOVES:

* Handcuffing him to the bed without saying a word.

* Kissing his butt cheek and gently biting it.

* Bringing a vibrator to bed and asking him to use it on your clit, then running it against the underside of his balls and shaft.

* Calling him "daddy" during sex.

* Asking him to spank your butt.

* Spanking his butt with a spatula.

* Masturbating in front of him , then asking him to masturbate in front of you.

* Pressing your fingers against the area of skin that's between his balls and anus.

* Putting your finger in his butt.

     A lot of these I thought would have been a number 1 on a man's list. I was actually surprised after I read these and realized a lot of men are not adventurous as I thought.

     They should be more like me and open to anything ... or anything at least once just to try it out. :)

Posting a Comment

     I didn't know posting a comment on my own blog or anyone else's could be so difficult. Could someone please tell me how to do it.

     It shows a box that says "choose account" I've tried all of them and it still won't post anything.

     If someone could please give me simple directions of how to go about leaving a comment it would be greatly appreciated!

     Thanks.

WTF ???

     So, I have decided to make a new segment called WTF Wednesdays. With this I will dedicate my blog to abstract things I see and think "WTF."

     for my the premier of this segment I begin with this. Before you look at it, know that I have a dirty mind 24/7.

     Looks may be deceiving.

     What  you see ... is a stethoscope, an instrument a doctor uses on his patients/clients. Now, what I see ... is a side view of the reproductive organs of the male anatomy. (to put it properly.)

     Can you see it now ?? Huh? Huh? ... yeah.

:)